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Hello Zoe, I'm Dr. Deb.I recently came online and see that your question about Bella hasn't been answered. I'm sorry that you've had to wait for a response but if you still need assistance, I'd like to help if I can.As distressing and upsetting as it might be that Bella is behaving this way towards you, it's actually fairly common after a stressful or traumatic event. Her spay procedure as well as the cone she had to wear most likely contributed to her feelings of some distrust of you. I wouldn't exactly say that she's holding a grudge although her behavior may appear that this is the case. If Bella was a sweetheart before her spay, then more than likely she will become a sweetheart again given time and patience. She basically has to work this out on her own which may take a little bit more time...you can't rush the process, in other words.I would talk to her but I wouldn't attempt to pet her. Let her come to you. Often the more we try to push our attention onto a cat, the less they want it.I'd also suggest Feliway which is a natural pheromone intended to reduce stress and anxiety. It can be purchased at many pet/grain stores or on the internet.I would continue to play with her with feathers and laser lights (if she likes these sorts of things) and continue to give her treats as you have been; just don't try to pet her until she's ready.More than likely, she'll come around and the relationship that you had before will be reestablished.I hope this helps. Again, my apologies for the delayed response. Deb