Hi Barbara. Lovely to hear from you. Thank you so much for your beautiful, kind words. Everything you say is exactly how it is. You understand so incredibly how I am feeling and say such perfect things. I cry every time I read your replies, but they are unbelievably comforting to me because I know you know what you are saying as a vet and as a person who has experienced all the pain and emotion as well. I don't think I will ever get over losing my precious Gizzy because she meant so much to me. I knew I adored her and loved her with all my heart and soul when she was here, but after she moved to Heaven I don't think I realsed how much. I revolved most of my life around her, tried to at least. I hated going to work but obviously that's something we all have to do. I had lots of lovely plans of what Gizzy and I would do in the future and took everything for granted in a way. I wish I had done certain things differently now. I torture myself that if I had done this or that, then maybe my angel would still be here. Perhaps she could have had some other heart medication or painkillers if she had pains anywhere. I just keep going over it. I know that she was at an incredible age and I was ( and always will be) so proud of her. I say it out loud now so she can hear me and I tell her l love and will see her again. I was incredibly lucky to have had her in my life. I just miss her so much. I have cried every single day since that day. My brother did say something nice the other day while I was talking to him on the phone. I said that Pip was so much like Gizzy in her ways and he said its because of the way you are treating her. She is loving like Gizzy because you are so loving to her. He was actually understanding when I got tearful. I think he realizes how hard it has been for me. Pip is beautiful Barbara. I know she knows that I am upset but she is very happy. We are growing our life bit by bit together. She has made this devastating experience better in a little way. I have someone to talk to and look after and have a reason to live for. I know I have my family but I'm basically on my own. Being a mummy to Gizzy was heaven. I lost that and now even just saying to Pip come with mummy is hard as for so many years I was Gizzys mummy. I'm pouring out my emotions again to you Barbara. I'm so sorry if I go on.
I got the 3 days job which I start next week. Its Tues/ Wed/Thurs. Its for around 3 months. There are 3 children. One girl 16 months, one boy 4 and a girl of 6. Will be a handful but I am used to it. I have done many jobs like that so am sure it'll be fine. When I am working, the pain and thoughts of Gizzy are there but because I have to put my mind on to something else it helps with the grief. Its when I finish and drive home it all comes flooding back. I used to be so excited about seeing Gizzy at the end of a day that I'd been working. She was so pleased to see me too. She would literally jump into my arms despite her age. I now have Pip to look forward to seeing. She has the same passion and love in her which is lovely.
Do you celebrate Valentines Day? If you do, hope you have lots of lovely treats as you deserve it.
Send my love to all of you. Pets and people. Hope you are all doing OK. Will let you know how it goes next week. Angel Robin is still here. She comes and has a feed. She sits in a little bowl that Gizzy used to have biscuits in which is sweet. I put seed and bread plus chopped apple in it. Sometimes little crumbled biscuits as a treat. I have got quite a few birds in the garden. Its nice to watch them. Angel didn't go in the little house I put up. I could put it in a different place to see if that works. I have got a very big laurel bush which is where most of the birds go and its cosy inside. So hopefully they are all warm. Birds have a nice life. I would like to come back as a bird one day. Thank you for being so kind.
Hope to hear from you soon. Love Claudiax
Hi Barbara. I haven't heard from you and I hope everything is alright. I understand that you are very busy. The job is going OK. Its tiring but I am used to that. Once I finish that job I will need to look for another one. I have an interview lined up so if that's not any good then I'm sure there will be something else.
I just want to take this opportunity to say the biggest thank you to you Barbara. You have been my lifeline. I would really like it if we could keep in touch. I am on face book so please try and find me as I was unable to find you before.
I still feel so sad and still cry everyday. I am coping now and know that one day I will see my precious little girl again in Heaven. I miss her everyday and wish she was here but I know she is in a wonderful place and healthy and happy. I was blessed with having her in my life and have to always thank our lovely God for that privilege now and forever.
God bless you too Barbara. Thank you again for all your help and understanding and for being there for me during the worst time of my life.
Lots of love and hugs for you and Scout, Newton and Frank and Igor. Love to Art and Austin and Baxter too.
Love Claudia, Gizzy, Pip and Angel. Xxx