My name is***** and I'll do my best to help you with your questions about Zen.
I'm so sorry you're facing these difficult problems with him, but really glad you're looking information you need.
To join the conversation, simply type in what you want to say, then click REPLY.
That way we can chat back and forth until you're satisfied with the information I've provided.
Please tell me if Zen is still taking in some food at least every few days and if he has become alarmingly skinny...
At the age of 2, Zen is becoming an adult and is shaping his adult personality. It's really important to determine if he is acting this way because of a medical issue or because of a behavioral issue.
No he will eventually eat but seem sto just want treats he gets really excited if he gets one but if I try and resist giving him one he goes and sits by the door looking sad.
Because of that, I'd advise starting with a thorough veterinary examination. These signs could be associated with any one of a number of different medical problems, and - if that's the case - you'll want to identify them as early as possible so you can get started on the treatment.
ok do you think this is linked to his behavioural problems?
My suspicion, however, is that this is a behavior problem. I say this because of the way you are wording much of your description of your situation...
You seem very focused on Zen and his satisfaction and happiness. This is a good thing, but...
it can lead to some serious behavior problems.
I will commonly see well-intentioned dog owners who are very focused on trying to understand their dogs. They do this so they can determine what their dog wants, so they in turn can provide the dog what it wants. They do this in an effort to be a 'good owner', and to help make the dog be happy.
Unfortunately, the idea of getting what we want so we can be happy is a fundamentally flawed and very *human* notion. If it's kept up, we can make our dogs as unhappy as we are, even though they don't start out that way.
I know I think I see him very much as a baby or small child I am just worried he is becoming withdrawn. He is always a happy boy when I get in from work but then seems to back away from me its as if he is scared of me which is ridiculous as I love him and try and look after him 100% My family think he is spoilt.
Does what I'm saying make sense to you?
Based on what description you've given so far, I'll gently offer that I'm inclined to agree with your family.
You're trying to speak HUMAN to him and he needs you to speak DOG.
I'd encourage you to focus all your efforts at looking after him into energy in learning to treat him like a dog so he really can be happy. This means NOT having someone trying to satisfy him all the time.
yes I think you are right its just he is so intelligent I suppose Iv forgotten how to treat him like a dog. Im so upset what can I do?
I could suggest a few good books on understanding dog behavior. This will help you not feel rejected or taking it personally when he makes you feel withdrawn.
What should you do? Three steps...
1. Start with that thorough exam. We need to be sure there's not a medical issue here.
Sorry Are you still there?
Thank you very much I will order the books and see how we get on.
Its been good to realise that these problems can be addressed.
I have booked a vet appointment today to eliminate anything as you suggested.
I am most grateful you help.