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Hi I think it will be easier if I bullet point the answers to your questions
1 yes I am female
2 no he is not neutered
3 we have booked obedience lessons but there is a waiting list
4 he appears to be playing as his tail is wagging all the time however we find him very intimidating as he will not listen and stop.
5 I am the only person who feeds him in the house
6 no he is not alllowed on the furniture - I am very strict about this.
7 we are scared of him during these periods when he behaves
Im sorry about the abrupt end to my previous E mail but the dog was in the middle of one of his episodes. Thank you for your advice, it sounds great and I will certainly be taking it on board. Im prepared to put in the effort so fingers crossed for a good result.