How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33283
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

contact dispute help

Customer Question

Hello, i would like to discuss a possible contact dispute please. The short summary is that there has been an agreement in place for roughly 5 years (not court ordered)... lately, there has been some flexibility with this as the children get older and do more activities. It now seems to have gone too far towards them(children's mother) deciding when they should come... today i received a solicitor letter requesting change to this weekend. I would like to see what my options are. Can i say no... should i be considering a court order to ensure that the structure remains? I have tried to be flexible,I am now concerned that this nature has set a precedent that I will always do as requested. Thanks, Mike

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Claire and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what is the pattern of contact?
What are the solicitors requesting?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hello, thanks for your response.


 


The girls are 10 and 8, the agreement is Friday to Sunday contact every other week. I have 1 school collection, 1 week in the summer and alternative Christmas Days.


 


The solicitors requested a change to contact this weekend. Usually, these would be dealt with direct and are always agreed to. This letter was more aggressive, it reminded me that there was no Court Order in place and also requested that we do not cross examine the children as to the reasons why... something that was very strange.


 


The main issues for me were:


The we have always agreed changes directly.


The tone of the letter.


The timing of the letter, contact was due today and the letter was received on Wednesday.


 


Mitigating circumstances - The girls mother has just had a baby on 31st August, the reason for the change request is so that the girls can spend more time with their new baby brother.


 


In 100% of cases where contact change was requested direct (or usually by my eldest daughter phoning up) it has been agreed.


 


Due to the timing of this letter... i responded asking for further clarification and proposals around when the time would be made up etc. My requests for clarification were ignored, so I have refused to change the contact agreement.


 


I guess we will see what happens at 6pm today, when i am due to collect them.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi Mike
You are right - it seems both an odd reason and an odd approach.
If Contact does not go ahead this weekend I suggest that you write back and say that you are surprised at this change in approach as all other alterations have always been agreed.
Point out that you have always assumed that an Order was not necessary - but that in the circumstances this may have to be reconsidered.
You should offer to discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
You may also wish to ask to extend the holiday contact - half of all school holidays is not an unreasonable request.
You may also find some interesting information on this website
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/#
If you need any further details please ask
Claire

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    133
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKfamsol/My face July 2011.64x64.jpg UKfamsol's Avatar

    UKfamsol

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    240
    Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CH/chathamchamber/2011-4-24_191833_1.64x64.jpg chatham-chamber's Avatar

    chatham-chamber

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    182
    LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)