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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33293
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a daughter who is 20 months old and has lived soley

Customer Question

I have a daughter who is 20 months old and has lived soley with myself since birth. She has had contact and involvement with her father throughout although there is no set agreement in place he sees her as and when he can. This is all his idea from the beginning which I have had isssues with but always tried to deal with it thinking at least my daughter saw him. However I am beginning to get fed up with phone calls with him expecting to see her half an hour later but he will not agree to set days/times because of work. He also has another daughter in who he was not allowed to see as his ex had a restraining order on him restricting him in contacting her. He took her to court and was given 2 hours every other week in a contact centre which was reviewed over time and they agreed to the 3 of them having a couple of hours out together every 2 weeks. He has previously turned up violent and aggressive and taken my daughter which the police did get involved but nothing was done as he didn't actually touch me and he is on birth certificate. I want to know what my options are now in keeping him to the minimum contact as I do not trust him anymore and worry when she is with him. He pays £40 a month csa. I have discussed mediation with him but he refuses to go
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.

Clare :

Hi

Clare :

Thank you for your question

Clare :

My name is Clare and I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first.

Clare :

How often has he seen the child is the last three months

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

I couldn't tell u exactly as it changes from week to week, he can easily see her for a couple of hours and then nothing for 2 weeks but then could see her 3 times a week, but these can be as little as half an hour, throughout the summer he saw her for 7 hours in total as I asked if I could take her away for the summer and he said no so I wanted to know exactly how long he spent with her

Clare :

What contact do you think would work for your daughter?

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

I think supervised contact for a minimum of an hour per week as less than that I do no think is fair

Clare :

When he took the child from you did he threaten not to return her?

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

yes, he shouted across the road that if I rang police I would never find them, I rang the police immediately and he then tried ringin me but I couldn't answer and later when I spoke to him once it had calmed down he said he was ringing to tell me the same thing, he then got his sister to look after her for a little while so that when the police turned up at his they couldn't bring her back to me

Clare :

When did that happen?

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

I think it was June, but he has taken her before aswell

Clare :

Given the incident in June it is not unreasonable to apply for a Residence Order to ensure that your child is always returned at the end of contact
It would also be sensible to agree to a set pattern of contact.
This will not ensure that he always turns up - but it will ensure that you can say than unless it is a contact weekend then he cannot have her.
If you wish to make the application then you will need this form
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/CourtForms/C100.pdf
and the fee is £215.

Clare :

Sorry that went more quickly than it should.

Clare :

It is reasonable for you to ask for a regular pattern of contact to be established - say a few hours once a week.

Clare :

It will be harder for your to insist that it happens at a contact centre given the fact that it has not been restricted in the past

Clare :

But if there is a record of threats then this will assist

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

does he have to agree or will he be told this, can he argue that he doesn't want me to have a residence order?

Clare :

You have to apply to the court and he will have the chance of opposing it.

JACUSTOMER-0ukprodz- :

ok thank you

Clare :

However the June incident - and any threats that he has made since - makes it likely that the court will say that an order is necessary

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