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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34496
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I need some advice about what I can about my husbands ex girlfriend

Customer Question

I need some advice about what I can about my husbands ex girlfriend they have a 4 year old son together and she has always used him as a weapon to hurt my husband. Since we got together she has had a problem with me she used to say he could not have his son here because Im a physco. Then it was because my children are mental. He is not allowed to bring his son home when my children are here because apparently they swear. Now because my husband and I had a week apart because of an argument she has ssid my husband can only have his son this weekend if he does not stay here and instead he moves to his mums for the weekend. My husband wont go to a solicitor as he cant afford it. But he is scared if he stands up to her she will stop him seeing his son. I want to know if I can do something as it is me and my children that she is bad mouthing.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact does your husband actually have with his son on a regular basis?
How old are your children?
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He sees his son every other weekend from friday evening till sunday afternoon. My children are 15, 13, 11 and 8 and they are all boys. But because of here rules mmy children go to their dads the same weekend my husband has his son. I am also 15 weeks pregnant and could do without the stress.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
I have to ask - have either you or your children been known to the police or social service in the past (sorry no offence is meant but I need to check)
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No not at all. And I have worked in childcare for 20 years in nursery's a primary school and I now run a creche.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Excellent.
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
Your husbands ex is placing artificial constraints on contact - I am sure that it will be a shock for the four year old to go from being a singleton to being the youngest of five boys - and that he will react in different ways because of it - but that does not make it bad - they are his step brothers and soon they will all share a half sibling.
However the only person who can change things is your husband.
He needs to discuss matters with his ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) and say that it is time that the children ALL spend time together (not necessarily all at once every time) but reassure her that he will also remember that his son needs some of his exclusive attention as well.
If she will not budge then he needs to apply to the court for a defined contact order which he can then enforce
The form he needs is here
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/CourtForms/C100.pdf
and the fee is £215
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

But is anything I can do because she is causing me a great deal of upppset and stress as well as the worry that she may say something that could course problems with my job

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
No I am afraid that the only person who can deal with this is your husband.
If she did say something to your employers or anyone similar then potentially you could act - although frankly it is unlikely that any one will see it as anything other than a malicious invention by her
Clare
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

His son is not a singleton anyway. My husband has a 10 year old son and 16 year old step daughter from a preivous relationship. And she has a 1 year old boy with her husband as well

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi
Then she is indeed being purely malicious in trying to deny this contact - maybe she fears her son will have more fun with your boys!
Clare