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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33276
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have been a victim of domestic violence yet my husband has

Customer Question

I have been a victim of domestic violence yet my husband has had me arrested to cover himself up - he has done this before and retracted hus statement, My question is: the house is solely mine I am the sole income provider and have been for entire 10 yr relationship the mortgage and deeds are in my name and my children (x2) are there. I am concerned about their welfare and want them to live with me - can I get an injunction or non-molestation order out or something to remove him from the property?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 3 years ago.
Hello,

My name is Mac. I can help you with your question. First I need a bit more information:

1. Can you give me some examples of your husband's abusive behaviour over the last say 6 months?

2. What were you arrested for? And have you been charged / cautioned for an offence?

3. What happened the time that he did it before?

4. How old are your children?

5. When did you get married?

.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I suffer a lot with psychicatric issues namely depression. I have also had an eating disorder (I am the right weight for my height but he calls me fat and tells me I am useless yet I am the sole income earner. On the 6th Nov he punched and kicked me and ripped my hair out leaving cuts & grazes. He is so clever at covering his tracks and has alleged I assaulted him which is utter rubbish and there are no injuries on him because it never happened but there are on me which I have had documented. He has also raped me when I have been under the influence of alcohol. I have 2 beautiful boys aged 6 & 2 and when I saw them at the weekend the eldest was most definitely showing the signs of depression. I want the children in mine & my sisters care as I have seen him be physically and psychologically awful to them - he tried to run me over twice once while I was pregnant (witnessed by my neighbour) and earlier on this yar with both kids in the car. I got maried on 28.04.06 - please help - its my house I pay all the bills and take responsibility for everything.

Expert:  familylawexpert replied 3 years ago.

Were there witnesses to his assault on the 6th November?

Are you staying with your sister? Why are the children not with you at the moment - is that by agreement or court order?

.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Other than my children no. I am staying at my sisters because this is my bail address or I would be homeless - even though I am the sole owner of tjhe mortgage and property - please can you just answer my original question. I don't feel this is really helping.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Other.
I have waited three days now for a reply and paid for it too - PLEASE can someone just answer my question?
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but unfortunately I also need some further information first.
Who has been the principal carer of the children until now?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We have both had joint responsibility but in the past he has tried to make allegations against me then withdrawn them to keep me 'under control' and keep him not working. Of course if someone has been arrested chilrdens services think I am at fault and he was given 'parental responsibility' though we continued to live together and I did a lot more for the children both financially and emotionally than he has and I don't think this has gone unnoticed. Please answer asap - much appreciated Julie


I have pleaded not guilty to the court today, am filing for divorce and will also put in a criminal complaint of physical and psychological abuse from him to me.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
So he has always been a stay at home Dad?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No we have been together since Dec 2003 he moved into my home in april 2004 we had our first child in sept 2006 and the second in June 2011. As I was not happy with his lack of interaction/stimulation with the children I paid for qualified child care via nurseries so I could continue to work in the knowledge they were getting the best quality care to help them develop. He has never made any contribution to child care costs or indeed anything. There have been times in the evenings when I have HAD to work and at weekends and he has had them then. Don't get me wrong he has not been totally dreadful to me or them - but the abuse he has given me and them particularly mentally is disgraceful. I am STILL paying all the bills while he sits on his laptop playing games at home but that's about the size of it. Thanks for your quick response

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What contact are you having at the moment?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Well supervised but only because of the allegation he has made and with the complaint I am going to put in we could both end up with them in care. To be honest Claie I have filed for divorce today as this process is just taking too long and i am getting worried about the situation and I don't seem any closer to getting an answer to my original question - sorry if that sounds brash but i have been doing some homework myself today.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You are correct - Emergency Care Proceedings are a very real risk.
You need to decide what is best for your children.
If they are at risk in the care of their father then you need to report your concerns to Social Services.
You can make an application for Residence - but while this accusation hangs over you it is unlikely that such an application would be successful
Equally it is unlikely that you will be successful in any application regarding the house until the children are in your care.
HOWEVER you do not need to pay all the bills.
Tell your ex that whilst he lives in the house the bills are his - and transfer them into his name.
You need only pay the mortgage - and child maintenance for the time being
This is a temporary measure but is the most practical way forward for now
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thats fab Clare thank you so much - that's all I wanted to know. Quite how things will change now I make a counter allegation I don't know - but your answer has been me food for thought thank you very much and for your patience at this difficult time.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You are most welcome - I hope all goes well
Clare

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