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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My husband and myself are now divorced. Because I am the one

Resolved Question:

My husband and myself are now divorced. Because I am the one working full time and he is not we agreed that the children would stay with him. I paid for the divorce. But we have not gone through any co study battle. The divorce only contains a statement for children. My husband has now managed to get my older daughter to not want to see me. My youngest daughter wants to live with me. How can I get my daughter to live with me and how can I get my ex husband to make my oldest see me?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what contact have you been having with them?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare.

The oldest daughter will be 12 in a few days. I have not seen her since the day before Mother's Day.
The youngest daughter is 10. She does not want to live with her dad and his new fiancée as she feels unhappy there and wants desperately to live with me.
I need to add that my ex husband has started to take my youngest child to see an early years councelor as she does not want to discuss her feelings with him. But he has not done the same with the older daughter to find out why she won't see me.

Thank you
Audrey

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Sorry Clare.
I forgot to add that I see my youngest every other week end sat the moment.

Audrey
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Have you spoken to your daughters school to see how matters are there?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare.

My oldest is now in secondary school. She is happy and settled. And she is bright and sociable with all around her.
However she has stopped all contact with myself and my friends.

What I need to find out at present is how I can get my younger child to live with me. And how I can "force" my ex husband to get my older child to agree to see me again.

Many thanks
Audrey
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The starting point for both parts is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) - preferably using a mediator trained to also work with young people so that their views can also be heard
If this fails then you will have to apply to the court for a Residence Order in respect of the younger child and a Defined Contact Order in respect of the older one.
However you need to be aware that at 12 your eldest's wishes will be decisive and if she refuses to see you it is unlikely that the court will order her to do so
At 10 your youngests' wishes are not decisive - but if she is clear about what she wants it is likely that it will be followed
More information on these websites
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare

I need to know if the statement for children is a costadial document or if I can take my younger child.

We have tried mediation. Bit we have not been able to settle our differences as he has not done anything the he agreed to do.

Thank you
Audrey
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You must not simply take the child - if you do your ex will get an immediate Emergency Residence Order and everything will be uphill from there
If mediation has already failed then you will need to make the court application
The form is here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0006/9047/C100.pdf
and the fee is £215
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare.

Thank you. Please can you give me the link again as it is not working. I think it is not full.

Many thanks
Audrey
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
If you highlight and right click it it will take you there
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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