The ex is making false accusations. On the hearing of the 16th December his barrister spoke on his behalf saying that my son is in danger with me because I drink when I have him and that he has had "accidents". That is absolutely untrue, he has had scratches and minor falls like any active energetic child his age does but it has nothing to do with whether I drink or not. And never something serious or significant. My daughter and friends that visit my house over the last 3 years regularly are witnesses of that. I always make sure my son is safe. My health visitor and the nursery are witnesses that there has never been anything wrong with my son. I love him dearly, and they all have seen that. I have some of my friends willing to testify in court to that effect. His barrister and the ex are twisting the truth and awfulising things to make me sound bad. I told the court that in fact he is the one who drinks in excess. I have physical evidence of that: there is a Sainsbury's trolley in our garage that ex's drink-buddies brought him home in one time that he passed out drunk. Against me he bases his claims in a couple of separate incidents of domestic violence when he called the police on me, but I also have a couple of domestic violence incidents where he attacked me, one of those I was 3 month pregnant and I never had a drink while pregnant, so he has no excuse for that.
His barrister also claimed that I wasn't a good mother because my son does not speak English fluently and is not potty trained yet. I speak to my son in Spanish as well, he is only 3 years 2 months old; all children develop at a different rate. He already speaks in short sentences but they are comparing him to some of those English kids that at 3 are very talkative (like the ex's nephew and niece). As a mother I did not worry about how quickly my son's language skills are developing because he is absorbing two languages at the same time: Spanish and English. I have a daughter who is 17 and also took her time in speaking fluently, she is perfectly fine and is quite smart. Both of them learned to walk quite quickly though. This barrister made it sound in court as if it was my fault as a mother that he was not speaking clearly and in full sentences like some 3 year olds do, which is ridiculous because all children develop differently. The barrister also said that my son not been potty trained yet clearly showed that I was doing a bad job as a mum. Absurd. That week previously to the ex deciding not to return little one to me I had just asked advice to my health visitor about how to start potty training him, I didn't even get a chance to start the potty training. The health visitor is a witness of that. Expert NHS opinion where they say that it is normally between 1.5 and 4 year old that a child is able to have bladder control and parents can start potty training as there is no perfect time. I doesn't have to be by 3 years old like the ex and his barrister were making it sound. (www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/birthtofive.aspx#close).
I think this is why the court decided the case was complex and wanted to see evidence from both sides on the 6th of January. Besides, as I mentioned before, Cafcass and Social Services had not provided reports or letters on the 16th of December.
I told the court that I believe the ex is making these false claims against me because he wants the matrimonial home and is prepared to do anything to take David from me so that he can kick my daughter and I out. I have suffered a lot of stress and anxiety from his constant threats and lies. Last year he was threatening me to make himself bankrupt if I didn't settle out of court for the financial side of the divorce. He was saying that if he did go bankrupt that the creditors would force the sale of the house and that we would be out.