How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33276
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

Last 20th of August my soon to be ex-husband (we have been

Customer Question

Last 20th of August my soon to be ex-husband (we have been separated since July 2011) and I agreed in court to a financial order. This order stated that: he would have to pay wife maintenance of £100 per month for the next 2 years (while I finish my studies); transfer the matrimonial home to my name to stop him from selling it or getting any further loans on it; pay for a loan secured on the house that he used to invest in his business; and pay the mortgage. When our son David turns 16 or leaves education or if I die or get married the matrimonial home would have to be sold and he would get 77.5% of the profits and I 22.5%. He has not kept his promises and has done none of those things. On the same day we also agreed to a shared parenting agreement that would have to be reviewed on February 2014. It stated clearly that both parties agreed to go to mediation to come close as 50/50 parenting. He refused to go to mediation. Last 8th of December he refused to give me back my son and instead has decided to file for full residency making false claims that I place my son in danger. On the 10th of December I asked for an urger Ex Parte Order but when they asked me whether I thought my son was in danger I said no because that is what I believe at the time. The judge then said that in that case they would leave the child with him for the time being while the next hearing to find out why the father refused to give the child back. We had a hearing on the 16th December and the ex claimed that the reason why he wasn't keeping to the financial court order was because he had to stop working to take care of our son and was close to bankrupcy. I have already evidence that he is actually working and is leaving my son with a woman that I don't know. He also change address without telling me and has moved town, and took my son out of nursery without my permission. What can I do? I believe he is doing all this to get out of the Financial court order that we had by taking my son from me. If he gains full residency can he then refuse to comply with the financial court order and throw my daughter (from my first marriage) and I out of the matrimonial home?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and when is the next hearing?
Was the Financial Order sealed by the court?
Why did you accept so little of the capital?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My son is 3 years old.


The next hearing is on the 6th of January.


Yes, the financial Order was sealed by the court. The barrister that was representing me told me that it was to be fair to him because he would be paying the mortgage for the rest of the coming years, and that to compensate him from having to pay it he would get a bigger percentage. We didn't touch his pension which was something my ex was very anxious about. I also mentioned to the barrister that my ex was lying about his income because he earns a lot of cash selling firewood that he does not declare. I told the barrister that I had prove of an account that the ex used to put some of that cash in, but the barrister said that if I wanted those proceedings to be dealt with and finished there and then that I should just accept what was being offered. My ex was representing himself. My barrister made me wait in a room while they both negotiated.


 


Thanks,


 


Maria

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Where is the child now?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My ex has him. He has refused to give him back to me since the 8th of December. The nursery called me to ask why my son had not been to nursery since then and I told them that it was because his father had him and was refusing to return him to me. Last Thursday 19th of December I went to the nursery and the manager told me that after talking to me they had called the ex and he said he had moved to another town and was looking for a nursery there. I don't know where. Friends that know the ex have confirmed that he has moved in with another woman. They also confirm that he is working because they have seen him delivering firewood, therefore he is leaving my son with this stranger. On the hearing of the 16th of December he said in court that he was not working because he was having to take care of our son. He never mentioned he had moved, taken him out of nursery nor that he is now living with someone.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What was the hearing on 16th about?
when is the next hearing about your son?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

On the 16th he stated that he wanted full residency claiming that our son was in danger with me and that I wasn't doing a good job as a mother. I disputed that because his claims are false, he has no prove I have ever harmed my child and I have plenty of witnesses that have come to the house regularly (some of them practically daily) over the last 3 years that have seen that my son is healthy and there is nothing wrong with him. The nursery and the health visitor know there is nothing wrong with my son as well. I told the court I do believe the ex is using little one as a tool to get the matrimonial home and to throw my daughter and I out of it. The court decided the case is complicated and since Cafcass and Social Services had not presented any reports yet they adjurn until the 6th of January when they said that both parties should provide evidence. Meanwhile, little one has stayed with him and his barrister gave me some times during this couple of weeks that I could see him. I did not dispute that because I was afraid that if I objected they would not let me see my son. I had no representation, so I didn't know my legal rights. The ex has been letting me see my son at an Indoor adventure playground for 3 hours (2pm to 5pm) on the 17th and 19th of December and then at home (for 3 hours as well on Saturday 21st Dec). He will let me have my son on Christmas day from 9:30 to 6:30. Then on the 28th and 31st Dec for 3 hours at home again. 2nd and 4th of January 2014 at the Indoor Kidsplay adventure playground again for the same 3 hours. It was a very busy day in court on the 16th of December. We were asked to be there at 11am for the hearing but ended up being the very last people in the evening, they wrote all of this down by hand and said it would be typed properly and posted to me. So far I have got nothing. Meanwhile I have kept to the times I was given, and the ex drops and picks up my child. But I am feeling very anxious and stressed over the fact that I found out he had taken my little one out of nursery without telling me and has moved to an unknown address. As I have said before, friends who know him and have talked to him last week have confirmed that he is working (which he said he wasn't in court) and that he has moved in with a woman he met recently to another town (which he also kept to himself). I feel my child is at risk because the ex is leaving my child with a complete stranger while he goes to work. Besides little one has been behaving oddly when he first sees me, I am afraid this woman and/or the ex could be trying to turn my little one against me. He is my son. He should be with me, he is only 3 y/o.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So you are back in court on 6th January?
What specific allegations has he made?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The ex is making false accusations. On the hearing of the 16th December his barrister spoke on his behalf saying that my son is in danger with me because I drink when I have him and that he has had "accidents". That is absolutely untrue, he has had scratches and minor falls like any active energetic child his age does but it has nothing to do with whether I drink or not. And never something serious or significant. My daughter and friends that visit my house over the last 3 years regularly are witnesses of that. I always make sure my son is safe. My health visitor and the nursery are witnesses that there has never been anything wrong with my son. I love him dearly, and they all have seen that. I have some of my friends willing to testify in court to that effect. His barrister and the ex are twisting the truth and awfulising things to make me sound bad. I told the court that in fact he is the one who drinks in excess. I have physical evidence of that: there is a Sainsbury's trolley in our garage that ex's drink-buddies brought him home in one time that he passed out drunk.

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here
View Full Image

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here
Against me he bases his claims in a couple of separate incidents of domestic violence when he called the police on me, but I also have a couple of domestic violence incidents where he attacked me, one of those I was 3 month pregnant and I never had a drink while pregnant, so he has no excuse for that.


His barrister also claimed that I wasn't a good mother because my son does not speak English fluently and is not potty trained yet. I speak to my son in Spanish as well, he is only 3 years 2 months old; all children develop at a different rate. He already speaks in short sentences but they are comparing him to some of those English kids that at 3 are very talkative (like the ex's nephew and niece). As a mother I did not worry about how quickly my son's language skills are developing because he is absorbing two languages at the same time: Spanish and English. I have a daughter who is 17 and also took her time in speaking fluently, she is perfectly fine and is quite smart. Both of them learned to walk quite quickly though. This barrister made it sound in court as if it was my fault as a mother that he was not speaking clearly and in full sentences like some 3 year olds do, which is ridiculous because all children develop differently. The barrister also said that my son not been potty trained yet clearly showed that I was doing a bad job as a mum. Absurd. That week previously to the ex deciding not to return little one to me I had just asked advice to my health visitor about how to start potty training him, I didn't even get a chance to start the potty training. The health visitor is a witness of that. Expert NHS opinion where they say that it is normally between 1.5 and 4 year old that a child is able to have bladder control and parents can start potty training as there is no perfect time. I doesn't have to be by 3 years old like the ex and his barrister were making it sound. (www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/birthtofive.aspx#close).


 


I think this is why the court decided the case was complex and wanted to see evidence from both sides on the 6th of January. Besides, as I mentioned before, Cafcass and Social Services had not provided reports or letters on the 16th of December.


 


I told the court that I believe the ex is making these false claims against me because he wants the matrimonial home and is prepared to do anything to take David from me so that he can kick my daughter and I out. I have suffered a lot of stress and anxiety from his constant threats and lies. Last year he was threatening me to make himself bankrupt if I didn't settle out of court for the financial side of the divorce. He was saying that if he did go bankrupt that the creditors would force the sale of the house and that we would be out.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The house is worth around £120,000 and there is around £60,000 left to pay on the mortgage.


 


Maria

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In fact a change of Residence will not trigger the sale - unless the wording actually says that that can happen - which is unlikely
However what is of more importance is ensuring that your son returns to your care.
A letter from your Health Visitor confirming that she had no concerns about his care; and a letter from the Nursery head confirming the same will also assist
You also need to point out to the court that you no longer know where the child is or who is caring for him and ask for him to be returned to your care
I hope that this is of assistance please ask if you need further details
Clare

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    133
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKfamsol/My face July 2011.64x64.jpg UKfamsol's Avatar

    UKfamsol

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    240
    Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CH/chathamchamber/2011-4-24_191833_1.64x64.jpg chatham-chamber's Avatar

    chatham-chamber

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    182
    LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)