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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33326
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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When he collected our 6 yr old son for contact I told him that

Customer Question

When he collected our 6 yr old son for contact I told him that we missed his last hair apt a couple of weeks ago due to him having chicken pox and informed him that he had apt this coming week. When he returned our son he had taken him to adult barbers who have hacked away his style and left horrific uneven mess all the stle has gone. My son had grown it for some time so that he could have a longer shaggy hairstyle and his dad knew this. The last apt had styled it correctly and they have now just destroyed it completely. My son agreed to have his fringe trimmed. They cut an inch and a half off his fringe alone and it's completely wonkywhich means to even it it would need to go even shorter. This is being done to p me off because he is a control freak. What can I do about it. This should not have happened ! Surely this is not right that he can do this. I now have to rectify as my son will be bullied! His dad will be pleased as he never liked him with anything other than short back and sides.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  LondonlawyerJ replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I am a lawyer with over 15 years experience and I will help you with this.

If the father has parental responsibility then he has a responsibility to protect and maintain his child.

It also sounds as if your son may have been happy to go to the barber's shop with his father

I suspect that there is very little that you will be able to do about this.

It sounds from what you have written above that there are ongoing court proceedings and this may be an attempt to provoke a reaction from you that he could then exploit as an example of you being unreasonable. If you have solicitors in these proceedings then you should discuss this with them.

I don't think that there is much that you can do in terms of legal remedies. Assuming no court orders have been breached then there is no legal remedy.

You may well be right that this is an attempt to get at you by your son's father bit he seems not to have been foolish enough to say this.

It would be sensible to photograph your son's hair. If you have some line of communication open then it might be a good idea to send him a written communication (email is fine) setting out politely why you are unhappy with his actions and requesting him not to so so again. If you have lawyers discuss it with them first.

If this is one of several unreasonable acts that he has carried out or if you fear it is the start of a campaign then you should keep a log of unreasonable actions like this one so that if you need to you can refer to this to help you write a statement/affidavit if needed later on.

In essence I am saying there is nothing you can do except not be provoked into anger and to record what he has done.

I suspect this nay not be what you wanted to hear but I hope it answers your question.


Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Just to add to my colleagues answer
There is no may be about it - the father has the right to take the child to have his hair cut whether the child wishes to go or not and there is nothing you can do about this I am afraid
There is also no point in taking a photograph - the court will not be interested and frankly writing a letter will only give your ex satisfaction - he knows what he did annoyed you -
If you do need to write a statement later on you couch it in the terms "my son was upset because he has asked to be allowed to have a certain hairstyle and his father ignored this" - much much more effective than "he did it to upset me"
Clare

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