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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34234
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My partner split up with his ex over 5 years ago. She left

Customer Question

My partner split up with his ex over 5 years ago. She left him and their 2 sons ( 21 and 16 years of age now) to be with another man .
She is a joint owner of their property but has not contributed to any child support or pays any of the mortgage or household bills . The house has recently been valued at £360 and there is only a couple of years left to pay off the mortgage.
She believes she has rights to access the property whenever she wants to come and see her sons and as it is 'her house' too.
She is interfering with my partners mail such as taking bank statements etc and has been physically aggressive towards him for the past year since we have been in a relationship. Logic seems not to apply to her reasoning is all I can say. He has not reported this to the police even though she has attacked him several times now and their sons have had to intervene.
I undertsand he can force a sale if the situation becomes even more untenable but ideally he wants to stay in the house until his youngest has completed his a levels for stability for him.
What would his position be regarding her access to the property ?
Any advice would be most gratefully received
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare,


I believe there is left than £20,000 outstsanding on the mortgage. They moved into the property 15 years ago .

It was valued at £360,000 in September this year.

I forgot to say they were also never married .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I assume that he is not able to "buy out"his ex?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

That would be the ideal solution but she is refusing to entertain the idea. She still sees it as her house and her 'family' home. Even though she choose to leave.

She turns up at the property whenever she chooses whether her sons are there or not , which is meant to be the reason for her visiting - and she is taking my partners mail away , going through his personal stuff , and has on a number of occassions become aggressive and abusive because she has a problem with him now being in a serious relationship.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I am sorry - i was referring to the financial issue - can he afford to pay her here half of the equity now?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He would have to remortgage and we have discussed this as an ideal solution . We could afford to do this jointly which is what he would like to do

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
That is good news.
When was the last incidence of violence on her part
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Christmas morning she went to attack him and their sons had to restrain her and he left the house.

She apologises later and states that they should all understand that she is having difficulties emotionally coming to terms with him being in a new relationship even though this has been going on for over a year.



Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
May I ask - does she work and why has your partner not claimed child maintenance?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

She does work .

My partner has not claimed anything because I think to be honest he was fairly traumatised when she left ( she left him for one of his good friends) and he was having difficulty coping with everything and did not want the additional stress.

He felt he could provide for him and the boys and keep the house going and just didn't want any more 'arguments ' with her.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
She has clearly taken advantage of his good nature for years - and will continue to do so unless he is able to be strong and stop her now.
Legally as a joint owner of the house she is indeed entitled to come and go as she pleases - unless and until there is a Court Order excluding her from the property as a result of her violence
Of course she has no right to look at let alone remove his mail.
Your ex can indeed apply to the court for an Order for the Sale of the property and within that he can offer to buy her out at full price.
Your partner should also make an immediate application for Child Maintenance to the CSA - and write a formal letter to his ex saying that of there is a further incidence of violence he WILL call the police and he WILL apply for an Order excluding her from the property
Then he should offer to discuss a settlement with her using Family mediation ( making it clear that he can and will take action if she behaves badly again
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details