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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33316
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My abusive ex and his mom is corrupting my 7yr old daughters

Customer Question

My abusive ex and his mom is corrupting my 7yr old daughters mind with nonsense and they are trying to keep her from me! I want a settlement or anything to help me make them understand that they can't treat me like this! They have no legal parental rights and it's all suppose to be equal but after they caused me to lose everything they now think they have the upper hand an are treating me like I'm non existent! The abuse and disrespect I have endured for the past 3years is now getting out of hand! My daughters grandmother are telling people I don't care! When I try to contact my daughter they tell me she won't speak to me! I really have had enough! I want to know my rights! I can't afford court costs but it seems it's theninlybway I'm going to get through to them! Please help!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When did your daughter move to live with her father and what contact are you meant to have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi, she was with me for the first seven months before I lost the house and she then went to live with her grandmother and dad as I had nowhere to have her! So I would say two years ago, and since then I've struggled to get her to come stay with me for atleast a few days a week as they have corrupted her mind and she thinks I want to steel her or something stupid! Just after the break up I stayed in a little room and even then tried to have her with me but it was hard sleeping in one single be and my ex said he will help me till I get in my feet and have her for a bit and I can see her when I want to after a week he texted me back and said if i ever want to see her again I will have to go through the courts! It's been a roller coaster and it's now got to the point where I'm lost and I don't know where to turn anymore as they have done well making her think I don't care about her! There is a lot to my situation just to much to explain it all like this!
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Sorry do you mean that she has lived with her father for the last six years?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She lived with her dad for a year on and off and a few months with her grandmother! It's only been 2 years since I've not had her permanently
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Right
In that two years what contact have you had?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Almost none sometimes I wouldn't see her for a few months! At all! They are letting her decide if she can be bothered to see me or not and because she told me her grandma said that I want to take her away from her family which is a load of rubbish she won't come see me at all anymore the past few weeks! They keep her away from me on all important dates my bday her bday Xmas etc etc! So really I see her when it suits them! I have told them when I'm available and she can come here but to no avail! I Faust don't know how a 7yr old can be given the choice whether she'll come and see me or not based on the crap they've planted in her head! I don't see why she can't be told this is how it is and she has to obey but those rules ! I need something to tell them that this is the rules and no matter if she likes it not she also needs to see me too! Am I making any sense?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Have you stayed in touch with the school?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes I have! I contacted them directly via email and they send me her reports and newsletters electronically too! I hope to get an answer of some sort soon otherwise I'd prefer a refund as it seems I'm not getting any answers but questions thank you
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents - and the Courts will enforce it if necessary
At 7 your daughter is too young for her wishes to decide if she sees you or not - as it is to easy for the adults she lives with to influence her choices
You should try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
but if that fails then you will need to apply to the court for a Defined Contact Order - the form you need is here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0006/9047/C100.pdf
and you can read more here
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
You are clearly very committed to your daughter as you have proved by your contact with the school - so there is little doubt that you will get contact with your daughter
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi thank you for that! I just want to know how much power a grandparent have over parents! I feel like she is a very twisted individual and has caused me problems from the start! Always interfering in our marriage and now obviously my daughter! She is very manipulative and sneaky claims benefits and is disabled! My daughter lives with her in a council bungalow!She sleeps on the sofa my daughter in the bedroom! I have a bedroom for her here and space! I think it's fear for her dad that she acts like this and his moms persuasive ways! I don't know I just feel I'm treated unfairly just because I'm vulnerable and have no family here! Still don't give them the power to dictate to me like this does it!? I have done everything possible to stay in contact with my daughter!
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Get the contact back in place as soon as you can - then you can consider making an application for a Residence order!
Clare

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