when I collected my daughter from a road which he had told me was close to his new house, my daughter stated that daddy doesn't live on this road. I asked my daughter to get into the car whilst I spoke to her Dad who stated that he was unable to give me the address as he now lives as part of the travelling community and is not allowed to do so. When I confronted him via text about this stating it was important for me to know where our daughter is going spending time, he sent 15 text messages - most of which were very abusive. I am a Mental Health Nurse and have had to try and explain that Daddy's behaviour is not acceptable and not respectful. I have concerns about his mental health, his abusive language and the impact upon our daughter. I would ideally like to change my daughters surname to incorporate either my surname or both our surnames - to which he will not consent. My daughters dad does not get involved in school run, only attends occasional school events when given lifts, etc and in no part contributes towards her development. It is a very sad situation of which I am trying to be a strong role model for my daughter
I had initially agreed contact to take our daughter out to a cafe which he didn't do and then took her to his new house and lied to me as to where they had been. The following contact I asked for an address and he said he could not give this to me as his new partner is a traveller and they are protective of sharing their address with outsiders but that if I dropped our daughter on a certain road this was around the corner from their address. In between the second and third contacts my daughter disclosed she had asked her dad for the name of his street and he said it was west street. My daughter noted that it was number 6, so that when I dropped her off for the last contact I felt I could relax knowing where she was. However when I picked her up they appeared from a different direction and our daughter stated that daddy always takes her a different way. Adding to this that he is presenting as very paranoid and has sent me 15 very abusive text messages, I do not feel comfortable dropping my daughter off and not knowing her whereabouts. My daughters dad was very emotionally abusive in the past and I am keen to protect both my daughter and myself from this.
I have always worked hard at enabling my daughter to spend quality time with her dad and feel that after his lack of acknowledgement of impact of his behaviour on our daughter, constant lies and inappropriate behaviours such as asking our daughter to keep his new baby and relationship a secret and history of mental health problems and substance misuse background, I am struggling to find a comfortable way of allowing access. I have asked if myself and him and his new partner could meet up which would put my mind at rest and he will not agree to this.
She is however she reports feeling very confused about why her dad keeps on lying. The police have advised me to withdraw access until he is prepared to share his new address.
Yes there is a previous history of domestic violence combined with a diagnosis of mental health problems including PTSD and psychosis, criminal record and substance misuse.