I would like your opinions on my rights in divorce proceedings. I appreciate this can only be general until all circumstances are assessed. We have been married 10 years this July 2014, and have a 12 and a 10 year old child. I have been the main carer, effectively a stay at home mum, and my husband had been working away for the last 2.5 years, coming home at weekends. He is 38 years and I am 51. Our marriage has broken down due to constant arguments and disagreements. I, at this time am saying I do not want to divorce, but we have had numerous relationship counselling sessions and my husband now wishes to separate. I suspect he is interested in another women, but has not yet been unfaithful in terms of a sexual relationship.
He would like a 50:50 split, is happy to continue providing for and being involved in the children's life's, but does not want to provide for me. He is suggesting I work full time and care for the children (there are no relatives, such as grandparents who can offer child care if I were to work). He suggests I would live in a much smaller property, wanting to sell our present house, to split the proceeds. And, ideally he wants to have custody of the children as he is not happy with how I "mange them". I think he would try to deem me as an unfit mother, as I do have health issues; ME/CFS, which at times leaves me with lower energy. Also, due to our disagreements I have become very angry, but throughout I have loved and always been there for the children.
I would want custody of the children and as the main carer, I believed I would be most likely to have custody. I am concerned that I would be unable to support myself and the children though, as I have only been working very part time and considering my age and circumstances of an out of date skill set and fore mentioned health would certainly have difficulty earning any where near the equivalent as my husband. A point possibly worth making is that my husband has me as Director of his company that he has started and developed during our marriage.
Thank you in anticipation of your valued advice.
Our house was bought for £460,000 and we estimate in four years is probably £525,000 maximum (we live in south east, where prices are high). £263,000 remaining to pay as of August 2013, with monthly payments of £2000.
From our first house we made a profit of £100,000, but I initially put in £40,000, released from a property that I half ownered with my mother. She now has ownership of this property.
We each have a car, but both are in my husbands name.
I have an ISA worth approx £4000.
Neither of us has pensions.
My current bank account has about £1000. We transfer money to and from each others accounts as needed to pay credit cards and other expenses.
My husband pays £9000 a year into my account, which I spend as I wish, generally on children's activities, tuition, some house expenses and my living expenses.
We do not have any outstanding debts.
My husband earns in excess of £100,000 per year before tax.
I earn £13 per hour and at the most work 12 hours per week .
I am a qualified nurse, so I should be able to earn equivalent if I were to up date my skills and work more hours. Full time work without considering child care I estimate I could earn £27,000.