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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34585
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi I was in a relationship for 10yrs lived with him for 2yrs.

Resolved Question:

Hi I was in a relationship for 10yrs lived with him for 2yrs. We been separate for 5yrs I have 2 children with him, hes came and gone out of the children's life in the 5yrs. The children was upset angry. Till he hasn't saw them in a yr.they been happy stable and enjoy life. Now that hes trying to see them again and y children's are behaviour has changed again. He is also getting married does she get prr by this. Can I get sole prr as my children are disabled and ive made every hospital dission so far and noticed at hospitals other day the hospital asked me if I had sole prr as I don't ask hes name on birth certificate its joint prr and thid is now stopping my childrens care As I cant be near him as he has to have hes wife to be there and they have threaten me and abuse me when we are near each other infront of my children. Is there any help for me and my children
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what contact does he have at the moment?
What has happened at court so far?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The children are 8 and 7. He had 1 visit in contact centre for 1hr and they refused the other visit after a yr of not seeing them otherwise he is suppose to write letters but that lasted 4 wks out of the year and they said I cant get prr of him for hospitals but that isnt taking hes rights away tho is it? and he can stop me and children moving and everything. And the court dosent no That they cant have children of there own and this is why hes walked back in their lives as hes solicitor keeps say hes a family man and with getting married and have a family its putting them better to have them but this partner is always kissing a women and I dont want my children to see this

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How does his PR effect the hospital position?
When did he last see the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The court let him on 18 jan 2014 for 1hr before that was February 2013. As he has to make sure im doing right by children and if he agrees to what operation im agreeing with to sign as well or if he dosent agree my children cant have there operation till a decision is made that we both agree with

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Why have the hospital asked for this - it is unusual?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I dont know why I was shocked as ive done it all before with not getting asked and Ive just done what is best as I have the same disabilities.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What did the hospital actually said?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

It was on my older daughter as she is having a op nxt wk but its just me whos on her birth certificate and she dosent no her dad. But the hospital wanted to no if I had sole or was it shared prr as if it was shared they need to be there to sign forms as well

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Has the Court actually granted him Parental responsibility?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi


He dosent with my oldest but hes on my other 2 birth certificate, which makes him to have parental responsibility dosent it. Which is going to start to make things harder as ive made all the dission for all the hospital for all of them since they were born hes never asked or wanted to be apart of that side of there life

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Sorry - just to check I'm clear - your older daughter's operation can go ahead - you are just concerned about the younger children?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes as my older daughter isnt hes but my 2 little ones are and he and hes partner want to have a say in everything I do with them now

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Please try not to worry too much - you are so clearly an excellent mum
At the moment I am not sure how many children he is the father of - is it two or three?
He has seen them once in over a year - how did that go?
Does he have any understanding of their health care needs?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hes the father of 2. It was bad I had to make them to go In room to see him and then there attitude change and they where fighting with each other. Hes had full understanding of the childrens health but didnt want or turn up to the hospital Appointments or even when children have been rushed in to hospital.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So what involvement has he now asked to have with the hospital appointments?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

None but for what the hospital said to me at my daughters pre-op he has to be there for our 2. Is it true as well hes wife just gets pr of my children just by marriage? Sorry this has me worried and seeing my children distressed by it all make me worry even more as I dont Know what to do. Ive had to put my children into counselling because its been to much for them seeing him come and go and threaten me in front of them.i dont no whats best know as I keep getting told its out of my hand and im not going to have a say they will have to go there and be there at hospital with hes wife

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
His Wife certainly does not acquire Parental Responsibility as a result of the marriage - and there is no reason for his wife to be involved in the contact until the relationship with their father has been re-established.
I am concerned that you have stopped the contact as the court is going to be concerned about this UNLESS .
I appreciate that the children may well have played up after the contact - but that was only to be expected following the delay
I am not certain why the hospital said that both parents need to sign forms as this is not correct - you remain entitled to make decisions on behalf of the children - but you do need to tell their father what is happening - and he is entitled to speak to the doctors and hospital if he wishes to
There is no question of this being changed I am afraid
He is entitled to attend appointments with you and the children - but his wife is not
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Well thats great that she dosent have to be involved. Ive told him everything about hospital till 2 years ago as he didnt want to know as my children are at hospital everyday nearly and he told my children hes partner comes 1st and she hes life now. Im worried on that I cant fuse my children again it was heart breaking last time making


them and I think its wrong and its child abuse making a child to do something they do not want any thing to do with him. Can I ask for the children to get a wishes and feelings done and they have human rights as well to be heard or are they to young for the court to let them even know they know what they want and feel. Are can I ask to keep them in a contact centre for them to see them so I know they safe thats if they go in.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
If your children were four or five years over I would agree - but they are not - they are still at the age where they do what adults tell them - go to school, dentist, hospital, the contact centre
However your children are vulnerable - so if you do co-operate then you can argue that it should be at least six months before his wife is even allowed to go to the contact centre - let alone have it move on.....
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Im getting confused as caffcas told me not to focus them if they dont want to be near him then I shouldn't push them as they are vulnerable and going thro loads and it will cause them more harm. Ive tired for years to help him and stopped my life so the children could have a bond with him but when he put wheel chair agaisnt my daughters neck and did a few other things I dont think my children will be safe with him. So can I ask for it to be kept at contact centre till there older and they know there mind and they can look after themselves.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
If Cafcass said that then keeping it at the contact centre is a good option - and if you have the support of cafcass you could ask that they set up the next meeting so that they can observe it!
Clare
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