How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33494
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

I have twin boys who are 16 months, and they go to their dads

Resolved Question:

I have twin boys who are 16 months, and they go to their dads (with his parents there too) every other Sunday 11-6. My boys are always unsettled and he seems to be incapable to stick to their simple routine, which is important as I am a single mum. He is now demanding to have them full weekends, I'm really not happy with this, but he said if I don't say yes he's seeking advice. I am making myself ill over this and having terrible nights with nightmares. I would never say never to full weekends, but at the moment I'm just not happy at all, especially as my boys are always unsettled. Please help me :-( Gem
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What part of their routine does he not keep to?
How long have you been separated?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, he left me when I was pregnant, then when the boys were born he wanted to try as a family, he saw them pretty much every weekend with me, in October I told him we weren't working as a family and he could have them every other Sunday, until the boys are settled in then we would review it. He hadn't had them on his own until October last year. He has had them every other Sunday with his parents and sister there, as he still lives at home, but even now I drop the boys off and They cry when I leave, and I'm told they cry for about half an hour when I'm gone :-( he doesn't seem to be able to stick to their sleep, which is very important, as soon as I pick them up he tells me they didn't have their late afternoon nap, therefore they fall asleep in the car on the way home and I have trouble settling them when I get home even after milk and change in pyjama routine with me, gem
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The fact that the children are upset when you leave simply shows that your children have a healthy attachment to you which is a good thing.
However their fathers inability to follow their routine does mean that you are right to have concerns about his ability to care for them overnight
You should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) so that you can explain how important routine is to a baby - with the mediator to back this up
You can then discuss a way of working towards overnight contact - aiming for after Easter maybe if he shows that he is able to settle them to sleep
Provided you show that you are open to the progression as soon as this problem is sorted with then you have little to fear from a court.
You may also find this website useful
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Do please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33494
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Previous | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    160
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CL/clairep80/2013-8-25_191218_dreamstimexs267279822nd.64x64.jpg Clare's Avatar

    Clare

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    4598
    I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HH/hhlaw/2015-12-8_22495_unnamedlanczosbicubic.64x64.jpg Harris's Avatar

    Harris

    Family Law Expert

    Satisfied Customers:

    1064
    Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters