I have contested my ex`s new boyfriend from adopting my children, the final hearing is next Monday, the guardian is asking for adoption be granted "as the children want it"!! I believe parental alienation has taken place, since I was denied contact 6 years ago, I have no money so I am having to represent myself, I have fought long and hard to see my children but their mother has turned them against not only me , but all of the paternal family, please can you advise any action
Thank-you for responding to my e-mail.
Please let me give you a brief history of the case.
After a domestic incident between my then partner and myself in dec.2007, we separated, but I continued contact with my 2 children, who were then 4+6 for the following 5 months. She then went to court to stop contact. I was refused contact in june 2010.She now has a new partner who is in the forces, so they don't actually live together, but he has applied for adoption. I believe PAS has taken place, as the children are unnaturally against any contact with not only myself but the whole of their paternal family, who all had an amazing relationship with my children before any of this happened.
A final hearing is set for 24th feb.
My ex partner seems to have not only manipulated the children against me, but the guardian is recommending the adoption goes ahead.
My children are now 10+ 12 ,
I was allways lead to believe that if a parent contested an adoption, then the courts would refuse the potential applicant?????
Hello, are you still there
the children are 10 and 12 years old
Thank-you for your advise,
No disrespect, but it was no more than I was already aware of.
One day , hopefully, Judges will begin to recognise PAS, and treat it with the same severity as any other kind of child abuse.
Until then we ," the absent fathers" will continue to suffer in silence, and our children will grow up believing everything the mothers have put into their innocent, naïve, little minds, never knowing how much we love, and fought to save our contact and relationship with them.
Again thank-you for your help, but I think it is a for-gone conclusion that my children will be handed to some guy that they have known for little more than 6 months of their lives, who does not actually live with them, and that possibly(God I hope I am wrong) they may find themselves back in a custody court in the none to distant future going through all of this again !!!!
Although they having been "dating" for about three years, he is in the forces, and only gets 60 days a year leave, even then his own family live 100 of miles away from my ex, so we can only assume some of that leave is spent with his own immediate family.
They do now have a son together but this is all part of my ex`s master plan.
Since our split in Dec, as I said before, she allowed myself and my family normal contact with the children( my children spending most weekends at my parents house) for the following 5 months,
But when I voiced concerns that she was only letting me see the children when it suited her , and also I started demanding the £30,000.00 from her bank account (money that I had saved over the years from work,,, she never worked while we were together,,,savings that she had persuaded me to put into her account while we found a high interest bank account !!) the next thing I knew was that she was taking me to court to stop me from seeing them.
(Never did get any of the money back !!)
This was the beginning of her master plan, she then told me that this was the last time myself or any of my family would see the children again.
During theXXXXXhearing, a caffcas officer was appointed to do a supervised contact session with myself and the children, for the first two sessions it was reported" that the children were happy and at ease in my company, and that they both agreed they would like to see me again. "
By the third session, the mother said they would no longer be coming to the sessions as she believed the caffcas officer was" emotionally abusing " the children by making them see me.
The mother got the officer off the case and a new guardian was appointed.
By this time the children had turned totally against myself and my family, saying they wanted nothing to do with any of us.
Remember the last time we actually had any contact with the children they were 4/6 yrs, by the end of the hearing they were 6/8yrs, and as they both by this time were saying they hated us all (the youngest depicting a picture of himself "shooting his Dad, and dropping bombs on his Nannie") the Judge went along with the guardian in her recommendations of refusing contact.
Months later my ex requested through the CSA I stop all payments.
Now years later she hooks up with this new guy, and decides to put the final nail in the coffin by applying for adoption.
Filling in all the required criteria
No parental responsibilities
Not financially supporting my children.
Not having had any contact for 5 years.
My ex is VERY clever I will give her that!!
She has known exactly how to work the system.
Master plan accomplished.
To mention every trick in the book that she has tried, over the years would take too much of your valuable time.
So that brings us to now,,,,,
Even if you can`t offer any more help or assistance, it has been good to feel that someone out there was listening , or even caring ,, just for a short while.
Many thanks for just being there.
Once again, many thanks Clare.
As I said, due to lack of funds, I will be representing myself, at next Mondays final Hearing.
Unfortunately we live in a small town, where even though I was initially prepared to pay the fees of a barrister, she advised me that PAS is difficult to prove, and "that too much water has gone under the bridge," for anything to come out of trying to disprove any of the allegations she made against me.
What it all boils down to is " it is the children's wishes" to be adopted, no matter as to how , or why they have come to that decision.
I can only hope that if the courts go against my pursuit to have the adoption denied, that in some how , shape or form, I can get situations like mine bought to the forefront by media or some other form of intervention, to hopefully bring an end to the misguided belief that all mothers have the sole right of custody to a child , no matter how she goes about getting it!!
Very grateful for your time.
I understand that, and that is my view, but the guardian argues that she feels the children need the feeling of "stability and security " of a family bond, "now that they have a new sibling"
And the scenario , as the guardian puts it ;;IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THE MOTHER, THEN THE CHILDREN WANT TO BE REASHURED THAT MR X WILL HAVE THE RIGHTS OF GAUDIANSHIP, AND THAT THEY WON`T HAVE TO GO BACK TO THEM (MYSELF OR FAMILY).
I have stated all along that I have no problem with the relationship between the children and the stepfather, and if the children are happy then I can accept that the mother needs to move on.
But I find it difficult to accept that there is a need to severe the tires completely.
Apparently they talk of getting married, and for him to be leaving the forces.
Leave the forces, find a job to financially support your new family.
Live together for a reasonable time to see how you get along as a family unit.
Then apply for adoption, if things haven't worked out in that time ,then nothing has been lost , the children will not possibly find themselves pawns in yet another custody battle.
Would my mother be able to act as my "Mckenzie friend"?