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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My soon to be ex husband & I have been separated since August

Customer Question

My soon to be ex husband & I have been separated since August but I didn't know until October that he had been seeing Amanda since June!! They told the children to lie about her existence & although I filed for Divorce for many other reasons I did not like the fact SHE was sleeping there in his 1 bed flat each time he had the children for every other weekend. He still has his flat, we are at the final stages of the Divorce but now she has moved into rented accommodation 4 bed house & he reckons our children will be staying there when he has them (girl of 4 & boy if 5). She has two boys aged 10 & 13. This cannot be suitable or even legal can it for them to insist my two stay at hers with those ages of her boys when they are starting to get sexually active, surely my ex should just have our children staying at his flat with him only?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
For clarity - your children have already had regular contact with his new partner is that correct?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes but she has literally taken over as playing stepmom. It's more so I'm concerned that my ex has no one on one time just him & our children. It's clear during the daytimes at the weekends they'll probably be at her house due to more space but here in the UK it is very important that my little girl & my little boy shouldn't be sleeping at her house with her two boys, they should be staying at my ex's flat with him
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Will I be charged each time I reply? If so I need to come off now, sorry. I'm unsure how much the fee I've paid will allow me to ask questions/send replies.

It's 11:10pm here so off to bed, but if your reply is still within my fee (I'm not paying any more sorry), then please feel free to find out as much info as you can as ultimately I want to protect my children from being in what could be a very bad situation, not biased at all but I have two gorgeous children, I don't want them having to sleep in the same house where they have only met her 10 year old & 13 year old boys a couple of times & it scares me to think what may so easily happen which is so wrong. They are ALL strangers to me, I don't want my children subject to being in that situation
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but I do not have good news for you
If the children had not already met his new partner then you would have had a chance of delaying this development - especially given the fact that they encouraged the children to lie to you about the relationship
As things however I am afraid that it is highly unlikely that the court will see anything inappropriate in the children spending the night in her home with her two sons especially as you concede that there is more space in her property.
I do understand your anger over this development - and your argument about his having one on one time with the children is a good one - but your focus on the overnights is not and could count against you.
One way forward is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
I know this is not what you wish to hear - but I am afraid that the court will not take the approach that you wish if it goes that far
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
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