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Hello thanks for your reply- the maintenance is paid directly to my account as per the Court Order. My exhusband lives in Europe and often quotes that he pays more than the CSA would require .When we divorced there was property to split 50/50 which i lived in until my marriage with the children.It did not sell and was very expensive to run and as the letting of a large expensive house was problematical I sold my half of the house for half what the Court originally expected it would achieve to my exhusband.I had borrowed with interest approx. £100k against the sale proceeds from him to renovate my new home for the children & to pay the costs of my divorce (£25k)subsequent legal expenses as my exhusband insisted on waking through the house to take the items he wanted and so I paid a Solicitor to accompany me and negotiate for items of furniture etc I wished to retain and so I was left
with an amount of money but no pension and my exhusband cites that a council flat in a poor area will be too good for me.
My self employment which he ridicules is as a Partner in my husbands farm which he has on Life Tenancy hence we improved the house to provide a good standard of accomadtion for the children as we intend to remain here for at least 25 years .My exhusband has recently told the children that he would buy the Farm from the Landlord ( we can not afford to do this at the momemt as I lost so much money on the sale of my former home) with the intention of increasing the Rent to make things more difficult for us - it would not be viable for us and we would lose our investment in the improvements we have made. I met my husband(a bachelor) after my divorce and to lose his home and business because of my exhusband is unthinkable.
No I do not owe him any monies - he advanced £100k against the expected sale of the house I lived in charging interest - I ended up with £400k less than the court expected- most of the monies he paid to me rather than the children was spent on the upkeep of the property which I had to maintain and present to a high standard for any potential buyer.
The Farm is not for sale - however he would like to approach the Landlord with an offer to gain more control over us and ultimately if he was able to purchase it he intends to increase the rent to finish our business - the children would then lose their home too and end up in a small basic property.
He has amended the Court Order to pay the halved original amount - the next month he bought a Mercedes for around £85k.
I have a signed copy of the agreement submitted to the Court
I felt very pressured and he sent emails threatening to go to Court where his changed situation (retirement v CEO) would end up with me receiving a much lower amount under the CSA rules.
I have not asked for more monies - even though he clearly can afford the original payment - because I cannot afford the costs and he is very calculating and cannot be trusted to reveal his financial situation.
I am most concerned about the frequency of his phone calls to the children the attitude he displays in his emails and the way that he maligns my style of living (ie long hours on the farm and at lambing time later evening meals )- the children are very well cared for but he does not recognise this .Every time they visit him I have to travel to the airport twice which with parking and fuel is £120.00 yet I do not even receive a text or call to say they have arrived.The children usually contact me in the evening but this is some hours later.
He would like to send a child away to a sixthform college and is very angry that I wroteback to his request that I could not confirm my ability to find £20k to do so .The Court Order says that the maintence ends on the later of each child reaching 17 or finishing full time education.PLEASE can you tell me if this will cover upto the end of A Level s or also University? Thank you
He cals every day sometimes upto three times if he is unable to speak to both children at the same time for some reason.
There is no Order covering costs - he originally lived abroad and visited them but now the children fly to him. He pays for flights and since halving the maintenance no longer wants to make reductions for the weeks they are with him.
HI yes but we are in UK and in Germany their father is able to get a cheap rate to UK landlines only.
Do you mean why I have problem with the constant ringing of our own landline which we now seem to let ring and go to answerphone if the children are not there to pick it up - it is also our business number . If we pick up my exhusband is very abrupt.
Thanks - sorry no he insists he needs to call on a low rate number which the children occasionally call me on whilst staying there.