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Kasare
Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 204
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
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My husband announced that we were seperating out of the blue

Customer Question

My husband announced that we were seperating out of the blue and we divorced in 2008.He had a very well paid job and I had stayed at home to care for the children wwho are now 13 & 15.In 2011 I remarried and my maintenance ceased - early last year my exhusband pleading poverty halved the monthly maintenance for the children which has had a serious impact on my husband & I who are self employed on a very small income.
My ex husband has a partner with her own business ( he retired at 45) and two properties which I know of worth over £2m.His partner rents her home out.
Recently the children visited him and as usual a torrent of nasty emails ensued - he wants confirmation of the time at which he insists I am to serve the evening meal for example - about which i have so far received 4 emails and a text message - I have not yet replied as I find his attitude appalling - he is confident I received monies from the estate of a late parent - I did not - and treats me as an overpaid housekeeper - upsetting for my husband in whose house we all live.Please can you tell me if I could obtain help from someone to write to him about the frequency he telephones and his dictatorial behaviour? He frightens me and threatens to contact my friends and family - he has allienated many former friends already but having spent over £40k on legal fees I have nothing left to risk going to Court as I have no pension or savings.
The children are happy here with my husband and I but my exhusband maligns me constantly to them - even telling them of a miscarriage I suffered between there own births.
He is vindictive in the extreme and a very accomplished liar who has been known to lie under oath regarding a former position which he held involving the dismissal of his colleague.I could not rely on him providing information about his income and assets - he would also ridicule the small amount of money we earn and is most scornful of Child Tax Credits etc...
Thank yo
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
is the child maintenance payable via a Court order or the CSA?
Why is your capital situation of any relevance and why doe she think he can determine in the time at which you feed the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello thanks for your reply- the maintenance is paid directly to my account as per the Court Order. My exhusband lives in Europe and often quotes that he pays more than the CSA would require .When we divorced there was property to split 50/50 which i lived in until my marriage with the children.It did not sell and was very expensive to run and as the letting of a large expensive house was problematical I sold my half of the house for half what the Court originally expected it would achieve to my exhusband.I had borrowed with interest approx. £100k against the sale proceeds from him to renovate my new home for the children & to pay the costs of my divorce (£25k)subsequent legal expenses as my exhusband insisted on waking through the house to take the items he wanted and so I paid a Solicitor to accompany me and negotiate for items of furniture etc I wished to retain and so I was left

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

with an amount of money but no pension and my exhusband cites that a council flat in a poor area will be too good for me.


My self employment which he ridicules is as a Partner in my husbands farm which he has on Life Tenancy hence we improved the house to provide a good standard of accomadtion for the children as we intend to remain here for at least 25 years .My exhusband has recently told the children that he would buy the Farm from the Landlord ( we can not afford to do this at the momemt as I lost so much money on the sale of my former home) with the intention of increasing the Rent to make things more difficult for us - it would not be viable for us and we would lose our investment in the improvements we have made. I met my husband(a bachelor) after my divorce and to lose his home and business because of my exhusband is unthinkable.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Are you saying that you owe your ex money?\
What makes you think that the farm is for sale?
Is your ex paying what the court order set as child maintenance
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No I do not owe him any monies - he advanced £100k against the expected sale of the house I lived in charging interest - I ended up with £400k less than the court expected- most of the monies he paid to me rather than the children was spent on the upkeep of the property which I had to maintain and present to a high standard for any potential buyer.


The Farm is not for sale - however he would like to approach the Landlord with an offer to gain more control over us and ultimately if he was able to purchase it he intends to increase the rent to finish our business - the children would then lose their home too and end up in a small basic property.


He has amended the Court Order to pay the halved original amount - the next month he bought a Mercedes for around £85k.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Did he actually apply to the court to reduce the order?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have a signed copy of the agreement submitted to the Court

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So you agreed to the reduction of the Child maintenance?
May I ask why?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I felt very pressured and he sent emails threatening to go to Court where his changed situation (retirement v CEO) would end up with me receiving a much lower amount under the CSA rules.


 


I have not asked for more monies - even though he clearly can afford the original payment - because I cannot afford the costs and he is very calculating and cannot be trusted to reveal his financial situation.


 


I am most concerned about the frequency of his phone calls to the children the attitude he displays in his emails and the way that he maligns my style of living (ie long hours on the farm and at lambing time later evening meals )- the children are very well cared for but he does not recognise this .Every time they visit him I have to travel to the airport twice which with parking and fuel is £120.00 yet I do not even receive a text or call to say they have arrived.The children usually contact me in the evening but this is some hours later.


He would like to send a child away to a sixthform college and is very angry that I wroteback to his request that I could not confirm my ability to find £20k to do so .The Court Order says that the maintence ends on the later of each child reaching 17 or finishing full time education.PLEASE can you tell me if this will cover upto the end of A Level s or also University? Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How often does he call the children whilst they are at home?
Is there an order covering the cost of contact
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi


He cals every day sometimes upto three times if he is unable to speak to both children at the same time for some reason.


There is no Order covering costs - he originally lived abroad and visited them but now the children fly to him. He pays for flights and since halving the maintenance no longer wants to make reductions for the weeks they are with him.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do the children not have their own phones?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

HI yes but we are in UK and in Germany their father is able to get a cheap rate to UK landlines only.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I ask why that is your problem?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Do you mean why I have problem with the constant ringing of our own landline which we now seem to let ring and go to answerphone if the children are not there to pick it up - it is also our business number . If we pick up my exhusband is very abrupt.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
No not that at all - I can see how that would be a problem - why is the cost to him a problem for you?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi


Thanks - sorry no he insists he needs to call on a low rate number which the children occasionally call me on whilst staying there.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I assume that you could manage if they used their mobiles instead?
Clare

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