Thank you for getting back to me. His father was granted half the school holidays plus 5 long weekends. This time has been made available to him although he states it hasn't. I can however provide email evidence that his contact has been more than fair. The only issue which has arisen is that I have not agreed for him to take him to America on holiday as I firmly believe that he would not return him to the UK.
I received a letter yesterday from his solicitor advising that he has applied to the court for our son to go and live with him in America. I asked my son for his thoughts and it was very apparent that he was fully aware of his father's intentions for him to live in America. My son has said that as I have had him for the first 12 years of his life it only seems fair that his father has him for the next 6 years. I am well aware that his father has been making attempts to alienate my son from me and also from other significant people in our lives including my sisters and brother who are a wonderful support and have always been.
We separated before our son was born and he has never lived with us. My son has a stable family life with friends and activities he enjoys.
I have gently explained to my son that if he were to go to America it would be permanent and I would not see him again. He says his father has told him on numerous occasions that he would bring him back to this country to visit me and I know this would not be the case at all despite anything a court may decide otherwise.
My mother who sadly passed away last July told me that she personally was becoming increasingly aware that my son's father was filling his head with lies and that my son absolutely believes everything his father tells him which is very worrying.
I would really appreciate your advice as firstly I obviously do not want my son to move to America and secondly this man emotionally abused me for years and it has only been since I've met my now partner that I have felt free of him. He can no longer control me and is now controlling my son and as dramatic as it may sound he would ruin my son's life.
Apologies as you asked for the reason why he is making the application. I actually do not know the reason why.
He has had half the school holidays (however chose not to have him for exactly half).
No he hasn't been to America.
I truly believe, as do my family and friends, that he simply wouldn't return him to the UK and I'm not willing to take the risk of him not returning him and me then having to go through the courts to have him returned to this country. Incidentally he is British and as far as I am aware is still a UK resident. He moved to America (i think in 2008) to get married to a US resident.
Many thanks for clarifying the above which is appreciated. I did believe that the court wouldn't consider my objections as reasonable and would quite likely agree for contact to take place in America. Other than him telling me he lives in Miami which I believe to be true, I have no contact details for him and he has also advised my son only last week that he is planning on moving house. If he were to take him to the States and were not to return him I would have no idea how to locate him.
I did read on Cafcass's website that if there had ever been any form of abuse (either physical or emotional) and that either your GP, the police or Women's Aid have been contacted then this should be mentioned. Can you please clarify if this is true as my GP has been aware of past events and who suggested at the time that I contact Women's Aid with whom I then undertook a 10 week program (I think it was 3 hours once a week ) aimed at women who had been abused either physically or emotionally (no physical abuse ever occurred). I contacted the police when my son was about 18 months old as my ex wouldnt leave me alone and a family liaison officer came to see me and offered to speak with my ex but I declined their offer believing it would make matters worse. I still have the crime reference number but I'm not sure whether this would be relevant today.
Apologies for all these questions but can you also advise how long the process is likely to take regarding my ex's court application and exactky what the process will involve?
I am unable to afford a solicitor to act on my behalf as I'm a single working mum (my partner and I do not live together).
Many thanks & regards
Thank you for reply.
If my ex does have full US residency would this make any difference in tracing him?
When I receive a copy of the court application what action do I then need to take?
If he is not awarded residency of my son however is allowed to take him for contact in the States, what risks do I run if I do not hand over my son for this contact and would I be imprisoned? If I were to do this would it affect any residency I had of my son?