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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Can In apply for increase contact maybe in a few months time

Customer Question

Can In apply for increase contact maybe in a few months time will that me good time because again LA wont to leave the level of contact I have which is fout times a year?
asma
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question
I know how difficult you find this but you need time to show the Court that you have understood what went wrong and have changed
You need a year to show this and by pushing too soon you will not show that you have understood what has happened - it will in fact show the opposite
I am sorry I know that this is not what you wish to hear but it is important that you do not compromise your position
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good Morning Clare,
Can I start gathering information about the changes I have made to prepare all evidence before I apply after September 2014?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Yes of course you can - but it is still too early - think how much more you will have changed by August
Clare
Clare and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Sorry Clare I am bit of a loss what other changes I can't think of any other done all the Parenting Courses, left the abusive relationship, attending contact, looking after my health and wellbeing, new relationship is going really well(touchwood)
What else can I change? Can you tell me you already the background what else can I change
Thank you clare
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I think some counselling and reflecting on the impact of your relationship on the children - and why you could not see that earlier would be wise - but the freedom Course should have given you more ideas on this
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Would counselling affect my case applying for the children in the future would this go negative for me?
I need councilling definately what the social services put me through and ex husband of the past 10 years
Shall I contact Women's Aid for advise?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Womans Aid may be able to assist - and counselling will not be a negative thing
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare,
I recently written to ask for confirmation as to council plan for rehabilitation of my children to my care?
Which children in what time frame do you envisage progressing this plan?
I realise that I may get all of the children back this year as it will be finely balanced decision.

Is this letter ok?what would be their respond likely to be?

How many days shall I wait Iv written to them last Friday?

Many thanks
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
They will almost certainly tell you that they currently have no plan to rehabilitate them to you rcare
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
When is the plan likely to take place in their view it may never happen the rate they are going?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, Will legal aid be affected for me if I was to apply to discharge care order in a years time?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare waiting for your reply
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
They do not have to have a plan to rehabilitate them with you - a final care order has already been made
It is for you to change your life so that it is safe for them to return and then make an application to the court for their return - and that is when the issue of Rehabilitation will have to be considered
At present Legal Aid WILL still be available
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare I have heard that legal aid is on merits basis if there is chance of success then legal aid may be offered?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It is less merits based where the state has your children in their care - so it should be available no matter what
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, I have not heard yet from the social worker about contact with my two children are refusing contact. It was actioned in LAC review last week that sworker would visit the children.
I have not heard nothing?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I would not be expecting you to hear for at least a couple of months
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Oh ok that fair enough. The next LAC review is on 1st and 2nd April next month it will be about my two older children.
I am not sure if any of this will be picked up then.
Can care orders be in place but children can reside with birth parents I was just wondering can this type of plan can happen or not?

If the social worker does not tell me what other changes I have to make to enable to have atleast a chance of being a mother to any of my children in the future what action can I take for sworker to be clear of her or other professionals expectations of me?

Thank you clare you are more helpful then my own solicitor.
Look forward to your reply
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Yes such orders can be made.
At this stage there is no action you can take.
If when you do make an application there is clearly a problem then you may be able to ask for an alternative Social Worker to be involved
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare I emailed the social worker last friday asking confirmation as council plan of rehabilitating all or some of the children to my care.
Which children in what time frame do they envisage progressing this plan?
I realise I may not get all the children back this year as it will be a finely balanced decision.
The social worker response to my email is she is unable to respond to my email and she wish to arrange a meeting with me to discuss with me the LA's position in respect of the rehabilitation of my children into my care.
She would email some dates so she can meet with me.
What do you think to this?
Thank you Clare
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, sorry to be a pain keeping on asking you questions?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I suspect she is going to tell you they have no plans to do this - so be prepared for that - stay calm and simply ask what you need to do to change their minds
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, I am already aware that they have no plans in returning the children that is why I asked the social worker to put in writing to me their position but she wants to arrange a meeting with me instead. There is no point in me travelling all the way from London to Walsall just to hear thier plans I want that to be confirmed in writing to me I don't know why the social worker is unable to do this.


Do you think she might agree in writing her response in a letter?

Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It would be better if you could meet with her - it is part of showing that you are willing to do all that is necessary to facilitate the possible return
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, if a meeting is arranged it's better I take someone independant to come with me so I don't feel uncomfortable. As I am wondering it won't be just the social worker in the meeting it will be IRO, Team Mangager maybe.
Is this normal practice parents are often offered meetings like this type?
I am just intrigued to know what apart from the new relationship I am in what other changes and thier expectations of me will be?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good morning clare, waiting fr your reply
Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The main point they should be looking for is your understanding of what has happened to the children - how your actions and inactions have contributed to the actions.
Bu all means take someone with you - and insist they are allowed to remain
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi, They are allowed to remain do you mean the children?I think they have made this very clear to me of why the children are in the care of LA. I am struggling to find from them is that they are not telling me what changes I need to make I think that's the difficult part I'm struggling with what other changes do they want me to do? Which I feel I am doing as best of my ability.I know what you mean the person who I am going to take to the meeting I understand clare I am so sorry.Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Yes I mean the person that you take with you to the meeting - insist they are allowed to remain with you
Counselling and repeating the Freedom Programme will be the first steps
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, shall I ask my GP for referral of counselling and freedom programme?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare. Online freedom programme is for only £10.00. Which is definitely worth doing. It's shows the LA I am not complacent of my new relationship that I won't end up in the same situation I had with the ex husband. I am going to go to my Gp if I could be referred to counselling aswel.
I am going to show that I am putting my children's needs first and look at their well being and not end up putting myself at risk second time.

Thank you clare
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI Asma
Better still find a local group one - which gives you great support as well and Asma - those are exactly the words that social Services need to hear
Clare
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


Hi clare,


Thank you for again for giving me these positive response.


I have emailed to the social worker that I would prefer a written reply by letter how many days shall I wait for her reply?


 


She has not given me any dates yet?


Asma

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
All you can do is wait I am afraid
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare,
The LA are making me ill and stress what can I do? They are really making so ill and depressed.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Not unusual I am afraid - all you can do is stay strong
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare the last 17 years of abuse from the ex partner and last 10 years of LA involvement has caused be to be more ill and depressed. I can't seem to cope. The only thing keeping me going is my husband his taking me out and about Park. Gym
It's the ignoring from social services and their attitude towards me is very unhelpful and negative.
I have a constant headache with their inconsistency they are treating me unfairly.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I appreciate that you feel this way - but sadly there is nothing that you can do about this - they have no responsibility for your care or health I am afraid
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare true sometimes I do feel like giving up trying to get them back because its causing me so hardship and unnessary suffering
All my children are also suffering without me being their mother to them
It's too much for me to handle
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi that's what the LA want is for me to give up and not fight for my children. And they are winning!
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Just to stay as strong as you can
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
There is so much so somebody can take iv been through hell and bk. I don't wish this on my worst enemy losing kids to social services. Iv failed my kids that's my purnishment?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
Try not to see it that way Asma
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, when will it be good time to move back to Walsall you think? Because by staying here my partner got his uni to complete I am unable to do much here. I will do the freedom programme online very soon.
By moving to London probably it's not helped me?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare you might be busy replying to other clients look forward to your reply
Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How long is left on your partners course?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Next Seminar starts September 14 the first seminar finishes in May 14?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
There is certainly no need to move before September -especially as he is a big part of your recovery
Do try and find Freedom Programme local to you that you can join
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, I can't thank you enough how much you are taking on board on how much my partner has made a tremendous change in my life. I am complete different person he has been there for me emotionally in that short space of time since October 13 me moving here yes it was a big move. His takes me out supports me getting my physical and mental wellbeing sorted.
Him going to uni get a good qualification and better job prospects can give myself and my children a better start. Himself taking my responsibility and the children is a big ask. He is very calm content human being. It will give him confidence to have a good job he likes to do to provide for me and my children.
He always reassures me that we both have to justify the LA and courts that we are and we will be the ideal caring and safe parents to our children. They have a safe clean home, good supportive parents that work as a team.
Have a stable and happy discipline guidance we can be suitable parents to them then other people who are currently looking after them.
What do think clare do you think he makes sense?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I think you sound as though you have found someone special
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi it sounds too good to true.
I spoken to few of my friends they say Iv gone into this relationship too soon. Just to focus on myself in getting all or some of the children back.
Not to involve the relationship just to focus on myself and try and get kds bk by being a single parent?
I think by marrying again has caused more problems in getting chance of any my children to be returned.
What do you think?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You are already married?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Sorry clare what did you mean to ask?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, I am engaged sorry islamic way not civil marriage divorce with ex husband is still pending?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It is a little swift - but it does not pose a problem in itself
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good Morning Clare,
I agree it was a little swift. Now what would the LA added concerns be in regarding me being in a new relationship? Are the LA expecting me to alone for the rest of my life? If I found a nice, good man who is helping me to recover. The LA may look at this another risk factor?
Ideally we both want to be assess part as a couple hopefully in the future. But the history will be brought up time and time again? It will be extremely difficult to justify the LA. The LA will always point the finger at me It's my fault the children have ended up where they are because of the ex!

Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
No not at all - do the Freedom Programme - with a group if possible and carry on changing your life around - in another six months the transformation will be very clear
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, The social worker is not sympathetic she is only focus about the children.
Can I do any voluntary work with children like in children centre's. wether I will be allowed to they might want to CRB check.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
She has to focus on the children - that is her job.
The Care issues will show on an enhanced CRB check but this should not stop you working with children altogether
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, can I relook on the parenting courses I did over the year when care proceedings were done?
Start looking as a fresh what I learnt and put in to practice when the children were in my care. What worked and what didn't work and the reasons what I could I have done better?
To be realistic to my case of what went wrong and the mistakes I made and acknowledge it, Also accept it was difficult. My desire is to have all or some of my children back. So I can write to the LA and explain to them instead of them saying to me time and time again that I have done many many courses over the years but it didn't not change my way of parenting my children and thats why they ended up in care.
Many thanks
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You can indeed do further courses - and you must do the Freedom programme in a group and not online.
You need to show them that your whole approach has changed
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare,
The freedom prograame they don't do programe in Middlesex as group. I enquired about the local programme they don't have programme in my area.

Our plan in moving back in the midlands early next year hopefully this period of time will give me enough time to recover myself.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
That is a good idea
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare,
I am concerned about the social worker has not yet responded about the contact for my two children. I am concerned wither this social worker is suitable for my children care.
The social worker is hard hearted towards me. She is being unhelpful and unclear. Even she has not responded to my solicitor which she had written to her 21/02/2014. I am so shocked of her unprofessionalism.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but she does not have to have your needs on the agenda at all
It has not even been four weeks - I am sorry but sadly at this stage this is not a priority in terms of her work - bleak but true
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, it will be four weeks end of next week. I might get the solicitor to chase it up after that week. My needs is not important I understand but the social worker knows that I am not going to just sit and take her attitude towards me.

I am still within my rights to make a complaint about her if I am not happy with the level of service she conveys herself.

My concern is the welfare of my children. If she is not willing to work with me and she keeps her distance then it has to looked at by a higher person in her team.
Do you think that is right approach?
Thanks clare
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Please tread carefully - whilst you can make a complaint you need to focus on her interaction with the children - not with you
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, that is exactly my point I would like to know how she interacts with the children if the children raise any issues about the level care and support they recieve from her will be the turning point?
Asma
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Did I tell you the LA conducted A serious case review they will publish it on the 26/03/2014 on their Walsall safeguarding website?
It will be very interesting to read about my family's case
What is SCR?
Why did they need to conduct this?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thats is a serious matter
It means that the circumstances were considered to be very bad - and a review was conducted to see whether or not there was other action which should and could have been taken earlier to protect the children
However it may give you some other ideas as to what needs to change for the children to be returned to you
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good morning Clare, will the SCR IMPACT of AFFECT the outcome of all or some of my children to be return to me in the near future?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
That will depend on what the review says
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi, If the review outcome indicates the children can't be returned to either birth parents then what can I do?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It will not comment on that
It is about what harm the children were exposed to and whether or not it could have been avoided
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, the social worker spoke with the two children they are still refusing direct contact with me. But with a lot of encouragement the children have agreed letter contact.
Also the social worker will respond their position about future plan of children to be returned to will responded by thier legal team. They are still in discussion about thier position by her managers.
I made contact with the social worker she did not contact me.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Well that is an improvement
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi clare, My new partner has got student visa for 22months he will not be able move back to the Midlands. Is it better I move back in the next six months because by this its holding back me applying for the children I can't wait for nearly two years. Can I apply change of circumstances apply with or without support of new partner?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Do not rush - concentrate on this new relationship.
In August you can then decide whether or not moving back is the best option
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, Ok thank you for your advise. Yes it does make sense to concerntrate on the relationship. My daughter who had Autism she has communication difficulties social worker said that after each contact my daughter soils and wets herself at the foster placement . Each time my daughter sees me. Sworker wants to know why my daughter displays this type of behaviour.
It understandable she is only having contact with me four times a year for two hours only. She must be missing me and wants to be with her mummy. That is why she is displaying so its indicating that if she behaves in that way then the foster carer won't able to cope with her so she can come home to me.
I do feel for my daughter it is very hard for her to adapt and accept she is not allowed to be with me or her siblings. That's is her way of coping is to smear herself, is there any way I can ask for am assessment just for her they will say its too soon?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
I am afraid that there are other less kind explanations for her behaviour so you must tread very carefully - and yes it would still be too early
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, What do mean by less kind explanation for her behaviour what may be other reasons may that be?
She is 13 years old maybe teenage behaviour maybe?

Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Social Services may feel that it is in fact a reaction to her memories of the time you were together - so at this stage continue making the changes and work at being in a stronger position in September
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare, I did tell the social worker that we are planning to move back to the midlands end of this year or early next year is that going to make the LA view of me any different towards me or not? Or it too soon I told the social worker my plan?
Yes your right its the memories we all have when we were all together as a family now we are not its a shame!
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Do not worry - the fact that you are letting the relationship grow properly will be seen as a good thing
Clare

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