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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33810
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi i am a farther my daughter is one years old me and the mother

Resolved Question:

Hi i am a farther my daughter is one years old me and the mother have recently split and she keeps changing how much I'm allowed to see my daughter she has now saiid i can see her for two hours a week until i go through court but then she will only allow minimal contact, i have her for two hours this thursday and I'm going to keep her until arrangements are made that we get equal time and rights to her me and my daughter have a very close bond and i look after her very well so i know she is fine, the mother says she can stop me seeing her whenever she wants until we go through court so can i do the same?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Who has had the day to day care of the child until now?
What contact have you had - and what are you hoping for?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi thanks for getting back to me we have both had day to day care of her i work full time she has not long got back to work part time but we have both been taking care of her since birth iv had full contact and oart contact it changes all the time i want half custody and yo share time equally between us both
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but if you have contact in Thursday and do not return your daughter then the next step will be an emergency Residence Order in favour of your ex and a Court Order restricting contact to a Contact Centre so please please do not do it
This is not to suggest that your child is not fully entitled to spend time with you both, not to suggest that your ex is not being unfair - just that if you chose this way of doing it you are immediately cast as a "villain" and you will struggle to get the court to see beyond that
HOWEVER neither does your ex get to control the contact or shared residence that you have
This is something you should try and agree using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) to agree a pattern of care that is child centred
If that is not successful then you can apply to the court for a Shared Residence Order
Details here
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
However, and again I know that what I say next will upset you, the contact needs to be CHILD CENTRED and 50/50 shared care where a baby is involved is rarely child centred - it is about what parents want.
Your ex has been a full time carer and has now only gone back to work part time and that needs to be acknowledged if you wish your child's secure attachments to you both to remain secure
Instead look for a pattern of contact that maintains the bonds safely - so to start with one night a week plus a few hours every other day and build up from there - alternate saturday nights week plus one nigh in the week - then friday to monday alternate weekends plus a night in the week and eventually maybe two (count that it actually comes to 50/50) but the build up is child centred
You can read more here
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
I hope that this helps - please ensure the court sees you as the good guy - which you are
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33810
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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