The house was purchased for 150000 his money my name(as he did not want is daughter to get house.)there was no written agreement just an assumption of being a couple doing it up.
assumed both sides renovation fund from my 126000 sale of MY house .l also have medical government pension averaged 20000 per annum bet 2006 -2009.
I spent at least 75000 on renovation and tools white goods etc.landscaping plants etc.
He made me ill by wearing me down and despite his small wage of 450.00 permonth .constantly asked me to pay his Barclaycard stating he would pay me back never did when I asked he laughed said oh thought you did not mean it . Cheque book shows 1000, HE tried to get me to stay in last 3 months 2009 this is when he became verbally nasty aggressive and cruel surpassing his usual efforts.
At no time did he pay household food utility. meals out .used my car and fuel where possible,gifts for his daughter who I persuaded him to send buy card s gifts as only young girl.He even told me his lists of gifts he wanted for Christmas . then screamed the were not correct
When He had broken me he wore me down soooo much he asked virtually begged me to give him my ast 20000 for him to survive ..AS I HAD AN income .and he could not survive with out me .That's when I knew time to go nothing more than a cash cow
Yes I was totally submissive and him very controlling , heaps of emotional blackmail tantrums etc etc blahblah .
I did anything to keep the peace and to keep him away so I gave him the money .
He asked could he keep the money to survive as no work could sort himself go separate ways The carrot for me was to leave me alone .to keep peace I agreed not to ask for return of money I had put in house.My Promise was verbal nothing written legally.
He then after I got away, followed stalked distressed me by staying in my new mortgaged house ..3 days later I found my voice whoopeei got angry and brave ..he even told lies to borrow friend sat nav had my address plumbed in , got him to leave .
He then 6 months later went to Australia life of riley found new life and work ...so kinda voided his part ...having a jolly at my expense at least far away.
He knew house being sold as I had to sign no evidence of loan etc in my name .
house sold ,an official who heard story ,when I offered ex bank details .was gobsmacked that I was prepared to walk away from that money...by law he could only give me the money ..so due to property market dropping house sold 110000, The official suggested I should take proportionate loss he worked it out as he felt that because I was pure of heart as he put is should not be expected to loose so much.It was not a decision I made lightly I do not Break promises .and he described my ex as a leech!
I asked for travel expenses to go for the house sale and pointed out loss of work .no comment from ex.
For three years emailed and kept polite and to avoid all confrontation and intimidation from him ...emailed on odd occasion that yes he could keep the money ...and that I would not ask for it back THATS THE PROMISE.
I am honest and have never broken a promise that was a choice as it were..
The ex never thought I would have the backbone to go against him...so horrendous abusive emails (slowed now) tried begging to my better nature ...then threats intimidation , now threats legal action...report me for stealing the money I Gave him and put into the house estimate no less 100000
he is so tight doubt he will do that..
I have written all that blurb to give you idea why I have been so stupid in my defence what a manipulative man he was.
So need some light at the end of the tunnel reassurance
...where do I stand in your opinion...
Regards XXXXX XXXXX