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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi, I am a father of a 4 year old girl. I am seperated from

Customer Question

Hi,
I am a father of a 4 year old girl. I am seperated from her mother, we are unmarried and I want shared custody rather than just being granted 'access' on days that suit the Mother. How do I go about being granted this?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How is her care shared between you at the moment and what do you wish to change?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi.
We still jointly own the family home, I stay there half of the week and my ex goes to stay at her Mothers, and the other half of the week I stay at my new partners house.
In 3-4 months my ex will be buying me out of the house and I will then live permanently with my new partner. My ex just wants me to have 'access' to my daughter on a Tuesday night, Friday night and every other weekend. But I want a more formalised shared custody.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So how do you want to share the child's time between you?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I would prefer 2 nights furing the week in week one and 3 during week two which would make it equal. If that's not achievable I still want my daughter to be seen as a 'shared responsibility' with two equal homes.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So is she suggesting Tuesday and friday nights every week and can you manage the school run?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Clare,
Yes on both,
Stephen
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
the weekend contact she is suggesting - would that be Friday to Monday?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
It would be Friday night until taking her to Pre school on Mobday morning.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
So this is already a shared care arrangement with you having two nights one week and four nights the next - a 6/8 split over a fortnight is that correct
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes that's right. Is there a way to formalise this because my fear is she could change and be unreasonable at any time. I wanted to have a separation agreement drawn up but she refuses point blank.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What you have already agreed would certainly fit the description of Shared Residence - and it is clear that your daughter will indeed have two homes.
You both have Parental Responsibility for the Child and that one extra night a week does not give your ex any greater "power" over what will happen to your daughter
In general terms it is assumed that parents can and will reach agreement over these arrangements - using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) if necessary.
IF these arrangements are not kept to or break down then it is open to you to apply to the court for a shared residence order to reflect the terms that were agreed
You can suggest that for clarity a Parenting Plan is agreed by you both -
The latest version is here
http://www.tsoshop.co.uk/gempdf/CAFCASS_Parenting_Plan.pdf
You can read more on these websites
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
i hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare