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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33326
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am a father of two children whom I had with my partner, we

Customer Question

I am a father of two children whom I had with my partner, we are not married. The children are a boy of 11 and a girl of 9. We have been separated for approximately 5 weeks, I am living with my son at my sisters house since the day that we split up with no belongings and my daughter is still in the family home with my partner who is influencing her in a negative way towards me. I have not seen my daughter or had contact with her since 19th February. I did buy her a mobile phone to keep in touch but my partner has taken this from her and allows no contact with me at all, including taking her from school early on Fridays when I would have normally been collecting her and taking her to outside activities such as swimming etc which was a weekly thing which my partner never participated in. My son does not want to return home unless I go with him which I cannot do because my partner has previously threatened to harm herself and blame me (she was witnessed hitting herself in the face by my son on the day of the split) so returning home with her still there is out of the question. Brief history, she has been violent towards myself and the children on many occasions, hitting all of us, verbally abusing us, she has no maternal instincts towards the children and never has since birth, a point expressed to myself by a friend of hers, my children are frightened of her and have been heard saying as much to a friend (who is a policewoman) who was visiting one time when my son who is especially targeted by my partner, was chased and hit with a broom handle by her whilst hiding under the bed to escape being hit. Other friends have witnessed the kids being chased & swore at whilst hitting them with a riding crop. I have since reported these issues to the police and social services and both have shown no interest in the events as they happened in the past although were still occurring, also expressing concern for my daughters well being whilst in my partners charge due to her violent behavior. Social services have held meetings with her but no one has interviewed me - only phone calls made by myself to them with little response. I have photographic evidence of injuries to myself and the children she also once stabbed me in the back with a knife during one particular argument in front of the children I have medical records showing attendance to GP for the stab wound and recordings of arguments & abuse etc which SS have been informed of but have also dismissed, mediation has been suggested but at £100 a time is an expense which I cannot afford. CSA have been contacted by her with no prior discussion with me and I now have to provide money for her and also try to afford accommodation for myself and my son which is impossible. I still pay the mortgage on the family home at present which I have always done. Although she works she has never financially contributed to our family home or unit in any way since we have been together which was 12 yrs. I have 6 yrs of bank statements to support this claim. I am trying to get the mortgage solely in my name - she is on it in name only. If she will not agree can I insist on her buying me out or can I put the property on the market and sell it from under her? She has changed the locks on the house and i cannot get access, what are my rights regarding this please. I am getting nowhere with local solicitors regarding the above (free consultations attempt have failed miserably) My email address [email protected]
Many thanks.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
what income do you each have and have you applied to the CSA in respect of maintenance for the child in your care
Have you checked with the school that all is well with your daughter
Which month and year was your son born?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The house is worth about 130.000 89000 left on mortgage


Why you asking about each others income.


Yes I've been in touch with csa.


There is someone from the school monitoring both


of them.


as stated to school and Social services i'm worried for my daughter still being with her.


Ex partner has said many times she will make sure I will not see my kids again. And she will twist my daughters head to stay away from me the best she can. even when I was at home i've heard he say things to them that I can't write it's been mental abuse.


My name is on both birth certificates sons date of birth is 14-4-02 he has stated he wants nothing to do with her.


My ex partner has said to the school teacher that I can't see my daughter unless she sees my son first


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
have you ever signed a Parental Responsibility agreement for your son?
Your respective incomes are relevant to the financial issues?
Have the CSA made an assessment about the maintenance she should pay you for your son
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No I have been told that if my name is on the birth certificate I have parental right


My annual is 32000


Ex Partners was about 10000 or 15000


The csa are informing her at the moment.


I am still paying the mortgage


I can't afford for me and my son to live anywhere else at moment my out goings is nearly more my income


I asked my ex for the normality of the kids to move out she said no she's not moving out doesn't care for the normality for the kids

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid that since you were not married and the child was born before December 2003 you do NOT have Parental Responsibility for the child
This is an issue that you will have to deal with in due course
You will also need to deal with the issues of Residence and Contact BEFORE the matter of the property is dealt with
I assume that you believe that your daughter will be safer in your care and on that basis you need to apply for a Residence and Contact Order - and for a Parental Responsibility Order for your son
Once the issue of which of you the children will live with is resolved then the issue of the property can be.
If even one of the children remain with her I am afraid that there is little chance of the Court Ordering a sale of the property until that child is 18
The fact that she has made no financial contribution is unlikely to mean that she will not receive her full 50% of the equity when the house is sold (or when the youngest is 18 if both children remain in your care and YOU remain in the property)
In the mean time provided you are paying child maintenance you can expect your ex to pay the mortgage so that your funds are available to allow you to rehouse yourself and your son
I appreciate that this is not the news that you were hoping for - but it reflects the position that you are in
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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