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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have contact order to see my 8 Month old son. The mother

Customer Question

I have contact order to see my 8 Month old son. The mother has residence order. I see him Wednesdays overnight and Saturday over night till Sunday evening every week.

The mother of my child recently asked if she could have every other Saturday and that in return I could have him overnight Friday instead and then have him overnight Sunday. I wasn't happy with this and she told me if i refused that she wouldn't let me see on the week she wanted him on a Saturday and she would take me court so i would only see him every other weekend. I therefore agreed but made clear wasn't happy but told her she should contact courts to make official.

So this weekend I had Friday and today I picked him up. She is now saying she wants him back at 6pm tonight like the contact order states.

My questions:
Should I take him back at 6pm tonight like contact order saids even though she has broke contact order by making me have him Friday etc?
What would happen if i did't take back to Monday morning as we argeed?
Can she really reduce contact to every other weekend with no good reason?

She is also constantly threatening me with not being allowed to see him or every other weekend over anything. She harasses my family, threatening to contact my place of work. Threatening to come up my house. Threatening violence.

I have welfare concerns but social shug them off.

Final questions:
Do police have power to force me to hand over my son?
Could I keep my son and apply for a court order for residence while only having a contact order in place and technically breaking it? - and get police to stop her contacting me and coming near my home?

I just cant handle her no more the threats are to much. She needs help but nobody listens.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When was the Order made?
Did you have him overnight on Friday - if so from when until when on saturday?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

October last year.


 


Yes i had him Friday (not in contact order) from 3:45pm until 10am Saturday. I then picked up today at 10am and was meant to return in morning tommorow before work (as do on thursdays mornings) but she saying 6pm tonight or she getting police.


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Dis she put the agreement in writing?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Text messages.


 


Also text messages saying now she wants back at 6pm.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Have you pointed out that since she hasn't kept her side of the agreement you will be going back to the weekly arrangement?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I said this and she has told me she plans to go court for every other weekend contact only. So i dunno when see him again.


 


... she has now just text me saying she wants to stick to her new rota but i dont trust her and cant keep getting this every time i see him. Its to stressful.


 


Please answer my questions if you can. Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Court Orders are enforceable - so the normal contact would have to continue until the new arrangements were put in place so if she stopped contact then you could apply to enforce it
IF your ex does apply to the curt to vary the Order then yes she might be successful - but then you could ask for the alternate weekend to run from Friday night to Sunday night straight through - and this is likely to be seen as reasonable by the court - so you would in fact end up with an extra night a fortnight
You should offer to discuss a new pattern with your ex using a family mediation in order that a Parenting Plan can be agreed with her and signed so that there is evidence of the agreed change
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

If i kept until Monday morning would I be in wrong? - if she stills wants me to return him at 6.


 


And who is in wrong for doing this new rota now without court stamp?


 


Thats it for now. Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There is no right and wrong.
As Parents you are able to re-negotiate the contact arrangements at any time if you agree
However if she changes her mind and wants the child back tonight then since there is no agreement in writing confirming the change it is easy for her to get the police to help her recover the child - although technically they should not do so in these corcumstances
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

So to confirm, if i get her to write down her rota and sign it then I'm protected and can have him on times new rota saids.


 


This wouldn't void contact order tho would it?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
If it is in writing then the Police will certainly not get involved.
However the order will still be in force - and the new agreement will not actually be enforceable by either of you
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Is it possible to get a court order to stop mother of my child from contacting me unless bout my son?


 


Also is there anything I can do to stop threats of reducing contact?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You cannot stop her making threats - but the court can stop her from actually doing it
You can report her harassment of you to the police
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have heard of a non-molestation order? I'm under the impression it is free?she harasses me and even my family.


 


what evidence do they require?


 


when i get paid i will give bonus as u been very helpful.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid such an Order has to be applied for and is not free
Reporting the matter to the police and asking them to give an harassment warning - that is free.
However you need to keep a clear record of all contacts that she has made - and you must not respond to any of them
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

sorry its free if on low income.


would a non-molestation order be a good idea? her family dont care bout police. I just want to be happy and not get crap from her.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
It is unlikely that such an order will work
You can certainly apply for it - but you need the same evidence - and it has to be enforced by the Police if she breaches it
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

why do u think it wont work?


 


sorry to be pain

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Because there has to be a level of communication between you for the sake of the baby and because in general terms a Police Harassment warning is more effective -as is simply keeping one number for her and only =using it when it is about the child or contact
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

so a non-molestation order would mean no commuication allowed? she is more likely to listen to a court order.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There has to be some contact between you because of your son.
It will therefore be hard to enforce any order restricting contact
And a Non Mol means going back to court every time there is a breach in order for the court to decide whether or not that contact breached the order which will become expensive and time consuming
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

If my childs mother was to die who would get custody? me (father) or her mother?


 


my child lives with his mother and her mum and sisters (my childs grandmother and auntys and cousin). This has basically been case since birth.


 


she has residence order and i have contact order with overnight stay two nights a week.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You have Parental Responsibility for your son - and so will any one your ex names as Testamentary Guardian in her Will
However you are entitled at that point, if you think it best for the child, to retain him in your care - and her mother will have to apply for Residence
It is more likely that you will be successful than that she will be
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

if she doesn't have a will can she still apply as my child has been living with her since birth.


 


as i only have him 2 days and she sees him 5 wouldn't they want to keep it like that?


 


thanks for advice, will tip you next friday.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
She can apply but as things stand until the child is over 12 and able to decide form him/herself it is still more likely that you will be successful
Clare

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