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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My husband and I split in December due to a suspected affair.

Resolved Question:

My husband and I split in December due to a suspected affair. I have now discovered that his girlfriend has a criminal record and has been in juvenile detention for GBH and also been inside, at some point, for another unknown crime.

She and my husband have had at least one physical fight during their relationship and also, during a brief separation, she threatened to have him 'sorted out' by some bad people which she knew.

My question is, am I able to stop him from taking our 4 year old son near her?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
has your son actually met this woman?
What contact does he actually have with his father?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare.


 


My son has never met this woman, no. His father comes to my home to look after him when I'm working and his shifts allow. Usually from 9am to 12.30pm and he occasionally calls in on an evening. We don't have any formal arrangements in place. Only what we pre-arrange each week.


 


Please let me know if you need any more information.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Has he asked to move contact away from your house?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The separation is only recent so, at the moment, he seems fine with having the visits here. However, he has, on a couple of occasions, mentioned taking our son to his caravan (he lives in a caravan in a friend's garden). I have told him that I do not want our son to go there. The caravan is very dirty, they have 3 dogs which they do not clean up after and they are all smokers. So far, he has agreed to not take him there but I fear that he will ask again in future or, he will use that as an excuse to request that visits take place at HER home instead which is on a housing estate, notorious for violence and drugs.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
how old is she now and does she have children of her own?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

She has just turned 29 and has no children of her own. He has told me that she has been in an on-off violent relationship before dating him.


 


My husband is just about to turn 40 and we have this one son together. He also has 2 daughters to a previous marriage who live in Sweden. he hasn't seen them for 2 years and does not pay for them.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Given the Domestic Violence and the unstable nature of the relationship it is clearly not appropriate for your son to meet the new partner yet.
I say yet because the simple fact is that if the relationship does survive then eventually she will be involved in Contact - however you have a few months yet.
Clearly contact does need to move away from your home - the courts would find the current arrangements inadequate - so you may wish to consider whether he has other family members who could "host" the contact - or consider using a Contact Centre at a weekend.
You should try and negotiate matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediatonhelplineco.uk) but if that fails you may need to consider a Court application to clarify the arrangements - this should be a last resort however
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

So I am not able to stop her having access to my son?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
In the short term yes, but in the long term, if the relationship survives, then no I am afraid not
Clare
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