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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33300
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello, I have an 11 month old son who lives with his mother

Customer Question

Hello,

I have an 11 month old son who lives with his mother 70 miles away. I currently get 2 and a half hours each Friday to see him under the "supervision" of his mother. We split when he was around 5 months old and it was a long distance relationship at the time, I spent weekends with them both. My ex seems to think because I have never lived with my son I would not have any chance of weekends alone with him or having him overnight. I obviously want this to happen. if I was to take it further, do you think I would have any chance of custody at weekends? I am paying for him through our own, arranged settlement and I am on the birth certificate as his father.

Thank you in advance.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you
The law says that a child is entitled to have a close relation ship with both parents and the court swill enforce this if necessary
The contact that you are having at the moment - supervised by his mother - is not conducive to you building your own relationship with the child and the court will not see it as sufficient
The starting point would be to move the contact to a local Contact Centre where you can see the child in a safe environment away from mum and build up your relationship and skills.
Over a few months you can start to move contact away from the centre and there is no reason why when he is just a little older you should not build up to overnight contact and eventually holiday contact - - however this is something to BUILD up to not jump into!
As a starting point you should offer to discuss this with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
If that fails then you can apply to the court.
You can read more here
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you Clare,


 


When you say "just a little older", is there a rough age in which the courts will see fit for my son to travel and be with me for longer periods of time? I have seen him every week (give or take perhaps 5 or 6 occasions) since he was born and at 11 months he knows who I am. I am fairly positive that his mother does not want me to see him and is being as difficult as possible in the hope that I walk away. I think this is the best route to go down but I am concerned on the timeframes between telling the mother what I am doing and having these Contact Centre visits as in the time in between there is potentially no contact with my son.


 


Thanks again.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There is no specific age
It is about what is right for your child.
the starting point is to move contact away from her home - then to build up the time spent
Start with the Mediation - there is at least the hope that you can actually agree to move on without the Contact Centre = maybe taking baby out for an hour and building up from there
Clare

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