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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34581
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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hello I am in the middle of divorce with my wife, which he

Resolved Question:

hello
I am in the middle of divorce with my wife, which he is staying with our 3 kids in our matrimonial home.
I buried the guns since we started the divorce and went back to amicable terms with her but I am currently getting frustrated with her way of handling the kids (lack of hygiene in the house, lack of personal hygiene with kids), she cannot possibility handle 3 kids on her own the way I see it ...... I took the children with me last Fri-Sat-Sun as she was sick and she asked me to take them to sleep in my flat, when I took them back the house was in the exact filthy conditions and I ended up cleaning the bathrooms, mirrors, floors eccetera. Is this situation acceptable in your view?
She won't accept any comment from me as constructive but this cannot be the way she grow up the kids. this is not the level of education me, my family grew up with and we taught them.
Is there anything I can do, apart from sending her letters from my Family Lawyer to improve my house and kids hygiene conditions?
what can I do in these circumstances to let her know this is unacceptable without exacerbate the situation? I cannot possibly accept she keeps the kids in filthy conditions.

I appreciate any help or suggestion
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and did you have concerns about her child care in the past?
Clate
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

3 years old twin boys and the eldest is nearly 7. It was one of the main arguments and one of the reasons why our relationship broke down. There is no violence in the house. the main concerns are lack of hygiene, lack of discipline and rules. This affects the house care as well as she totally disregards XXXXX XXXXX house maintenance as the boys are gradually damage it (for example drawing to the walls, breaking toiled accessories, pulling wallpaper, using screwdrivers to damage chairs, using knifes to pull floor carpet profiels and the list goes on...)


 

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Does the Health Visitor have any concerns?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

well last time they visited the child and the house was around 2 years ago or longer. Shall I call/talk to them?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Do the school have concerns about the 7 year old?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

he's a bit behind, distracted and does not seem interested in school matters as he always speaks about fishes and dinosaurs. But no other concerns were reported, last time I went to speak to the teacher myself

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
As a starting point you should try and discuss these issues with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
You should also speak to the Health Visitor who can visit the house and give an independent view.
i would suggest that you simply say that you are worried that your ex is not coping rather than being specific about your concerns
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
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