I just need some advice as to the best way through this, really.
Clearly, I don't want to be physically threatened. As a priority, and I would like to understand what my rights are in relation to that incident in particular - or at least a recommended course of action. Should I notify the police, for instance? Should I put something in writing? I don't know.
As for the general situation in the longer term, i guess I am looking to try to make life as easy as possible for all parties. I don't like the idea of my boy experiencing the fighting and arguing that he is seeing frequently, but I don't want to start trying to disrupt the 'family home' unless things get completely unacceptable.
Ideally, someone needs to just sit this woman down - ideally an impartial third party, I guess - and try to get her to see sense that 'she' is the one creating all of this chaos in everyone's lives due to her stubbornness and tendency to fly off the handle and resort to insults, threats and manipulation.
It seems she's impossible to sustain a relationship with, as evidenced by the growing list of ex partners. Each time it's the same. Fighting, rowing in front of the kids and then she's on her own again. Each time I have to accept a new 'partner' is going to be spending time with my child - not to mention the children themselves having to get used to another new man in the house. She just can't seem to see things from anyone else's perspective at all - even her own children. Either that or she genuinely doesn't care about the damage she is doing.
I actually think it's the former - she lacks empathy, i think, making her operate from a very selfish, self centred perspective. I have tried and tried to reason with her over he years, but it's impossible. She does not respond to reason and rational discourse. She prefers to shout and scream insults and threaten until she gets what she wants.
I've been a very loving and loyal father, as best I can be under the circumstances. I've stuck by Bailey (my Son) paid my dues and made sacrifices. I don't see what I've done to warrant such treatment. Nor does Bailey. This is becoming more of a problem, the older he gets, as he's just so much more aware of everything now and is more upset by the fighting.
I've mentioned arbitration before, but of course she's not interested.
Is there any way that she can be strongly encouraged into seeing someone - an anger management therapist perhaps - on the basis of the deteriorating situation?
I usually collect him on a Saturday morning and drop him off on a Sunday evening. I rarely go into the house.
The only reason that I would do is when I really need to communicate with Sonya on a particular issue - usually something that she has been deliberately difficult around, such as the plans for the Easter holiday.
She refused to answer any of my questions about which dates I would be able to take Bailey away - making it impossible for us to book anything until the last minute - at which time she decided that I could only take him away Friday - Tuesday, as opposed to for the whole week - meaning that we ended up paying the same for 4 days as we would have for a week. Just playing mind games and making life difficult for no reason.
Then when I did turn up, as I mentioned, she refused to let him take any of his clothes.
The problem is, if she won't enter into dialogue around any of this then I have no way to move anything forward. She's holding all the cards in terms of access to Bailey, so I have to try to plan around her - yet she refuses to even communicate what she wants - deliberately leaving us in limbo and causing undue stress and frustration.
Is your suggestion / answer to simply avoid all unnecessary contact?
In which case, I think I may have wasted my time with this.
What about the threats from the partner? Should I take any action at all in your opinion?