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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33507
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have parental responsibility of my two year old daughter,

Resolved Question:

I have parental responsibility of my two year old daughter, there is no residency order at all in place, I pay the csa for my child and have her every other weekend and a Monday night in between those two weeks.

I have various reasons why I want to take my daughter into full time custody... I am mainly concerned for my daughters well being, I will compile a list below

Two front upper teeth starting to rot (have holes in) due to her mum giving her sweets constantly and drinking coke out of a milk bottle, I took her to the dentist as her mother would not and have a written letter from the dentist fully explaining everything.

The mother had a boyfriend who did drugs, no job and drunk a lot in her house (I knew this as there were always beer cans in the garden, secondly she knew he was a criminal but still had my daughter in his presence, he is not around my daughter anymore as he is In prison for 'life' for racially attacking someone with a sword.

She lives on a council estate and has had an abso for having a party which got out of control and had her windows smashed.

I am pretty sure she does drugs but can't prove this.

I have text messages from when she has said that I can't see my daughter anymore because I live with my partner.

Probably more but that's all I can remember for now.

I have a full time job, a nice house and my daughter loves it at my place.

Can I take my daughter off her mum and have her live with me full time?

Thanks in advance for your answers
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Have Social services been involved at all?
Do you have your daughter for longer periods at any time?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

no they have not as far as i am aware, i have thought about it on many occassions but i felt that if i did she would stop me from seeing my daughter if she knew it was me who called.


 


and yes i do have her for longer period sometimes, at the moment its every other weekend, i have her fri, sat, sun then drop her off monday morning, then the week inbetween i have her on a monday night.


 


does this help?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Does your daughter go to nursery - has anyone else raised concerns about her care?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

she went to nursery last year for about a month, she has just started nursery last week as her mum has just got a job, she is in and out of jobs alot so she normaly gets a friend from the estate to look after her.


 


The mother has a past record with the social services about her past as a child too.


 


My family and friends have told me to contact the social services about it but as i said before the reason why i havent is that she always threatens to stop me from seeing her so it normaly feels best for me not to say nothing

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has there been any sort of crisis recently?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The most recent thing has been the teething issues, I asked her mother repeatedly to stop giving her sweets and fizzy pop in a bottle to which I was just ignored, below is the letter from the dentist.

Thank you for bringing Heidi in this morning.
As you thought, there are 2 small holes on her upper front teeth.
They could well have been caused by fizzy drinks given in a bottle/ cup which is an irresponsible action if given by an adult.
There is now a large body of evidence that suggests this will cause holes.
I hope this has/ can be stopped as you hinted.
The existing holes then won't get any worse and when she is older, we can hopefully 'patch up' the holes in the teeth until they drop out naturally at 5 1/2 yrs old.
If this strategy doesn't work she might have to have those teeth taken out.
Good habits started early mean strong healthy teeth with few/no holes.
I will see Heidi again in 3 months,but bring her in if there are any problems.
All the best.

About three or four months ago she was threatened with eviction from her council house because she was having parties there and one night got out of hand and her windows were smashed, the police got involved with that one.

About a month ago apparently her mum was over from Ireland and was trying to see her and my daughter (this is a problem as apparently her mum and step dad used to abuse her and they have been put in prison at some point for kidnapping children which have been taken off them)

About a month ago her partner was put in prison for life for attacking a person with a sword.

There are plenty more situations like this... There is always a drama to where I feel on edge about my daughters safety.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
what was the reaction to the letter?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I sent her the letter via txt message, she replied saying she was going to the dentist after work, so i told her not too as she will just cause a drama there.


Before i took my daughter to the dentist i had asked her to do it several times, when i saw my daughter drinking coke from a bottle for the first time when i wad picking her up i said you can't be doing that it's


wrecking her teeth, to which she replied 'but she likes it'

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
When did you send it and has she changed what happens?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

i sent that to her about two weeks ago, the damage to her teeth is irreversible. I would not know if her diet has changed, but she does ask for sweets all the time still?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry I forgot to mention that I sent her the letter the week before last from today's date
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
having you asked to increase the time that your daughter spends with you to say close to 50/50 care?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have asked countless times to have her full time, but i think its the benefits that is stopping her.


 


i used to have my daughter three nights per week but it changed to every other weekend.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
When did that change happen
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Just before Christmas this year. i was having her 3 nights, two nights on the weekend and on a wednesday night, i stopped doing this a she lost her job so i started getting her just on the weekends each week, her mother has just got another job so we decided on every other weekend and one night in between, this has been like this for about three weeks now

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Until three weeks ago what was actually happening?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Not sure what you mean?
I was getting her every weekend if that's what you mean
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How many nights?
(I am trying to work out your best way forward)
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Three nights per week :)
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
To be clear - you had contact form Friday to Monday EVERY weekend until 3 weeks ago is that correct?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No I had her two nights on the weekend, for example fir and sat then I would have her one day in the week. So three nights in a week.
My csa payments also show that I have her three nights per week.
It has changed to every other weekend and one night in between the two weeks because she is now in nursery again
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So you used to have six nights a fortnight and now only have five.
You also have serious concerns about the care given and there is medical evidence (the letter from the Dentist)
The starting point is for you to arrange to discuss this with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) with a view to asking for more time over the week - say every Monday and Tuesday and alternate weekends so that there is a 50/50 shared care arrangement
If it is agreed then the next time there is an excessive party or problems with a boyfriend you will be well set to tip the balance so that your daughter spends more time with you than with her mother.
If your ex will not agree to the change then you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child spends more time with you than with her mother - a form of shared care arrangement.
You can read more about such applications here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf
https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

could i just apply for residency order? then just not take her back until it id sorted?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
There are no longer any Residence Orders - there are only Child Arrangement Orders
You cannot simply keep the child - if you do that then you are automatically in the wrong - unless there has been a serious incident putting the child at risk.
Your ex will then be able to apply got an emergency order returning the child to her care while the long term situation is decided
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33507
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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