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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My partners and I have just decided to part amicably after

Customer Question

My partners and I have just decided to part amicably after 14 years. I am 60 years old next year and at a time in life when mortgages are difficult to get and she is 38 with a full working life ahead of her.We have a 4 year old son. However she recognises that I have brought all the capital into the family and have worked full time for the last 10 years allowing her to follo various dreams and interests including raising our son.

We both know the law would agree she would be entitled to much of the money, but she recognises that I should take it for a bigger deposit on a little flat. I am going to give her a small delositi to help her on her way. I shall also pay her as much maintenance for our son as he need and I can afford.

How can we separate and make things legal without paying solictors the money we very much need for ourselves?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Are you married and what assets are there?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

We are civil partners. The house is in both our name. We have about £100,00 in savings. She is 38 years old. I am 59 in November this year and about to retire. I have brought all capital into the relationship and worked fulltime and supported her not working full time for about 10 years whilst she has attempted to puruse other careers other than teaching. We now have a son of 4 years and again I have worked full time to enable her to sat at home 2 days a week - although he is in childcare in the morning of those 2 days.


 


But I stress, all capital in the house and all savings were brought into the relationship by me - and I was always by far the higher income earer.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I appreciate what you say fully - but how much is the equity in the property - and what income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Belinda will be going back to full time teaching at about £33,000 gross per year. She gets 80 child benefit net per month and £400 per month maintenance from me starting this month.


 


I earn £17,500 gross from my work pension. I earn about £19,500 from my work salary.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
And the equity is worth?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


about £160,000

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So what is the division that you have agreed?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My partner is being very fair recognising that she want to leave me and that I am approaching 60 with few working years ahead of me. I also want to move back to an expensive area weher we originally moved from to be close to my sister and the rest of my family (in old age).


 


I will take everything all the money (savings and all equity) to enable me to put a large deposit down on a 1 bedroom masionette. I shall still need a £50,000 mortgage for 16 years (the maximum allowed at my age)


 


I will give her £15,000 and £400 / month maintenance towards our child and ad hoc contributions if she needs them although I accept these aren't quatifyable.


 


 


The separation so far is very honourable and amicable.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has your partner has any face to face legal advice?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


No. She doesn't want it

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Are you intending to apply for a Dissolution?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No rush but we will get divorced. We don't know how to go about this, but would prefer to not use solicitors if this is possible, or spend as little money as possible. We would rather keep our money in our own pots.


 


Is this possible?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You can start the Dissolution proceedings yourselves - details here
https://www.gov.uk/divorce/overview
Within those proceedings you can file a Consent Order setting out your agreement - but frankly there is little point in doing so as I am afraid that it is highly unlikely that the Judge will make this Order.
Instead you will need to trust that your ex will not make any claim in the future.
It would be sensible to have a Written Agreement drawn up and signed by you both setting out the terms agreed - but it cannot be made legally binding I am afraid
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Why won't the judge make this order - is this because my partner is coming out with too little money, despite my age and I brought everything into it and she has a full working life ahead of her?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes I am afraid that given the existence of a small child and the actual extent of the assets there is no way that the court will see this as a reasonable distribution
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

In 2022 I shall be retiring and my income will drop to £20,000 gross per annum before I pay out £400 a month maintenance and even by taking the money we hope that I can take, I will still be paying off a £50,000 mortgage over 16 years which will probaly cost about £500 / month.


 


She on the other hand will be earning up to £40,000 and a s asingle mother will probably be entitled to benefits and my maintanance just mentioned. I am not going to walk away from my responsibilities. This is amicable.


 


1.Would the judge still not agree to the order - see that my income is going to drop in a few years time?


 


Who oversees the order being enacted, in terms of the money being handed over - if weboth have to do as the courts say in order to get the divorce, but not as we wish in terms of how we want to divide the money up.i.e. does the money have to be handed over to the courts and do they split it up and hand it out - or do they entrust that to the partners to do.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but there is simply no way that this division of the capital will be seen as fair
The courts would favour a fair division of the capital and then the payment of Child Maintenance at the usual rate
The ending of the relationship and the division of the monies are entirely separate.
You can deal with the divorce via the courts whenever and however you wish - you can then deal with the finances between yourselves without involving the court at all
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

forgive me - I'm not sure what you're saying. Earlier you said that we wouldn't be granted a divorce based on how we wanted to divide the money. But it seems now you're saying we can get our divorce regardless of how we wish to divide our money (provided that both parties are in agreement) and sort out the money ourselves the way we wish without involving the courts. It didn't seem that you were saying that right at the beginning of the advice.


 


previously it seemsed that the courts wouldn't let us have a divorce unless they were satisfied there was a fair division of the assets


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry for any confusion
You can start the divorce proceedings - the Administrative ending of your legal relationship - whenever you wish and the relationship will be ended
However what you cannot have is a Final Court Order dismissing all financial claims you have against each other.
You will simply have to trust that your ex will honour the agreement
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Thank you - that is now clear

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are most welcome - I hope all goes well
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for checking in - I have completed everything and indeed have spoken to a solicitor friend who has reinforced everything you have advised.


Many thanks


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I hope all goes well
Clare

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