Yes he definitely is and he has told me as much: " I am not doing this for nothing you know" and, " as far as the tax man is concerned, she is my employer" and, "if it wasn't for looking after mother I wouldn't have had any money for the last 18 months." This situation was never discussed between us.
Historically we both worked in a small engineering business, owned by me, that suffered in the recession and as such is being wound down. Neither of us is directly employed any more. I am 67 and retired, he is 56.
We have never been very close and don't tend to talk about issues, so I have let this situation pass until now, when I just get the feeling I may well have been taken out of the picture entirely, particularly as my mother has always been more fond of my brother, whereas I tended to get along with my father more, when he was alive.
A few years ago my brother was declared bankrupt ( a tactical move) and at that time my parents will was made entirely over to me for safekeeping during the time the bankruptcy was running. Since my father's death a couple of years' back I imagine that a new will has been drawn up.
As my mother is not very well and is not likely to last much longer I am concerned to know what the situation is and if I have any claim, either to a residual or to the way the money has been administered before I approach him to put cards on the table, so to speak?
Thank you I am clear on this. It is a moot point however as he could claim that having him look after her is to her benefit.
What I really want to know is it acceptable that he receives an 'allowance/payment' as such, to be the 'paid' carer - which is what he is doing. As I see it the money that was as a result of the sale of my mother's house is being reduced by this action ( by how much I don't know of course), such that I have no control over what any residual amount would be. If it is the case that he can claim for caring after her - is there an accepted amount or can he take whatever amount he considers is right?
I also have no knowledge of what he has done with the money other than it has been put into a variety of accounts, presumably in her name.
No, at £60 per week this is not what he is living on! He has all her pension of course as well. He lives very high off the hog at the best of times which is why he went bankrupt a few years ago, living beyond his means. I just need to know if there is a recognised amount a carer could expect to be paid or can anyone elect an amount to suit their needs? Trust me, he is milking the situation and I just need to know where I stand, that's all. If there's nothing I can do then so be it.