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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33827
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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HelloIm a dad of a little boy, contacts

Resolved Question:

Hello
I'm a dad of a little boy, I've had too submit dates for contacts through solicitors until recently me and my ex have stopped using solicitors for the passing on my contact dates, but I submitted dates via email on 21st April via email as I use that to keep a record of dates and my ex said she would get back to me to confirm or reject the dates, I heard nothing until Fri 30th May as and we're to pick my son up but I had made arrangement for myself. The first day of contact was on31st May until 2nd June but as I never heard anything until the day before contact I presumed I need more notice than a day so I had to give up my contact as i had plans by then. Also I heard through my son at sometime that my ex partners boyfriend had shared a shower together which I found it highly improper I asked my ex she never denied the fact so were do I stand in both counts. Do I either need written or email conns. for my records
Steven
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Sorry - do you mean that she was expecting you to have contact after all?
is there any reason why you cannot have a set pattern of contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hello Clare

Yes my ex had expected my to have contact even though she had not confirmed them date or any of the contact dates I had provided on 21st April . She has said I new I was having my 4 year old son because the previous Sunday I had said to my son on leaving that I would see him next week but I don't think that's my exes agreeing as she never mentioned it. So on that score as I'd given her the dates but she had yet to agree with the dates, that I new I had my son
As for a set pattern of contact I work shifts 4*12 hour shifts on a 7 week cycle which is 2 day shifts then 2 night shifts so my contact dates vary week to week
Thanks Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has she ever refused the dates in the past 0 if so how often?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi
No normally she excepts the dates I have given here but it's been thro a solicitors letter or a email from the solicitor this is the first block of dates I've
Sent not going though her solicitor . So I'm i right to have made alternative plans for myself as she had not giving me only 1days notice of the first contact date.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What is that you wish to know about the position?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi XXXXX would like to no if it was right to say I had plans . As my ex had not confirmed the date until the day before my contact was to begin . And of yesterday she has managed to confirm the rest of the block of dates I had given her on 21st April but she has not agreed to them all with no reason given.
Then these the other matter of my exes new partner sharing a shower with my 4 year old that's what he had told and when asked about it my ex never denied it
Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Actually i an afraid that I would say if you had not heard anything you should have assumed that all was well and that contact would go ahead.
Having said that this is a simple misunderstanding and these things happen.
With regard to the dates that she has refused it is up to you whether you ask for an explanation or not.
It certainly seems sensible for you to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) so that there is a clear understanding of the process for settling dates
You can also the discuss the Shower issue with her and agree that it should not be repeated although there is no specific objection to it in general.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thanks for that advice
As the contact dates where sent my ex did say she would let me so I waited which I think was fair of me giving the notice I gave her.
And as for the shower issue I didn't think it is appropriate behaviour for a relative stranger and my 4 year old boy to share a shower together. As I don't know how long my ex and new partner have been together
Thanks Steven
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thanks for that advice so far but
As the contact dates where sent my ex did say she would let me so I waited which I think was fair of me giving the notice I gave her.
And as for the shower issue I didn't think it is appropriate behaviour for a relative stranger and my 4 year old boy to share a shower together. As I don't know how long my ex and new partner have been together
Thanks Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
As I said it was a misunderstanding and both of you had reason to think what you did - it needs to be resolved for the future
As I said clearly the shower position raises cause for concern - but is not sufficient for any action to be taken - so you need to discuss what is and is not appropriate as well
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33827
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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