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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33806
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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contact matters

Resolved Question:

My son's father is with another woman, he had 3 relationships before me and has 5 kids with who has no contact. I am not happy for him to have a contact with my 2 year old son. He lives life in a style not suitable for a child. Changing women, partying. It is not only that he was unfaithful but he is not able to be a family man I asked him to withraw his parental rights and live the life he chosen just not to drag my little boy into. He wants to have a contact and told me he will go to his solicitor. I am worried that he will be able to take my boy to his house and I only could agree for him to see my boy at my place under my supervision. I do not really want my son to be handed to strange woman and surrounded by strange women. What can I do now?

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 2 years ago.
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Nicola
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact has he had since you separated?
\What has he asked for?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I am a single mum since my son was born. We lived together for just a couple of months, then I moved out and started renting a house. He lives only 5 min away from me. He told me we should take it slow and when ready then will be together. My son is 2 years old now. His father was coming everyday after work to give him a bath, exept Wednesdays as he was working long hours. He was doing whatever pleased him and suit him. Once was coming at 6 once at 7 . It was always different time. On saturdays sometimes was coming in the morning and was taking him for a walk, but if he worked for Terry at his garage, the was here at mine at about 3pm maybe 4. At the weekends we all were going for walks, or to KFC or to the shops. Mostly he was staying at my house and playing with little Max. Now when he gone to another woman, I do not want him take my son for walks or to his house, I can not stand another woman holding my little boy, or telling him what to do or what not. His father can not stick to one woman, and I do not want my boy to be drag into his life style, and be with strange women. I could agree on the contact once a week at 7pm like before , when he was giving him baths! I do not want him to take my son for weekends to his house and get involved the other woman in this. I want to be sure he is with my son alone when he plays with him. this is why I want the contact to be in my house so I can be sure no stangers are involved.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The law says that a child is entitled to have contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
Your concerns about the child seeing a succession of different girlfriends is reasonable - your wish to have contact take place only in your home is not.
A reasonable compromise to start with is to use a local Contact Centre (www.naccc.org.uk) so that you can be sure that it is just him and he can get to see the child alone.
However I do have to warn you that it is likely that eventually contact will move away from the centre - and equally eventually if he has a new partner she may be involved in contact - but that i sin the future - not now
You need to discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you very much for your answer. I hoped that the court will take into an account his past and the fact that he left those other women with his children behind and I truly believe that by stopping the contact now i will save my son all the disappointments in the future. I am sure he will one day quit and will not be interested in having any relationship with my son what happened to his previous children.

 

If I have to, and I know I will have to allow him to see my son I would prefer him to come and stay in my house to have the contact with my little boy.

I am not quite sure how the court will look at the fact he is working as a probation officer and I have just lost my job working 8 years for the local council as a translator. They closed down the department. I hope it would not have any impact on me being the main carer for my son.

 

Kind Regards

Edyta Nowak

 

I have been thinking even of going back to my country to stay there permanently and maybe this would stop all the troubles with the contact. The only problem is i do not know how it would work for my son as his father is English and I am Polish.

 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but contact in your home would not be seen as being suitable by the court and I am afraid his actions in respect of previous children wil not be seen as relevant.
You do not have to be concerned about the child being removed from your care unless you constantly refuse contact despite any court orders.
You will need either your Ex's permission or an order form the court if you wish to return with the child to Poland
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33806
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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