How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33307
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

Hi. My wife and I are going to get divorced. (Her decision,

Customer Question

Hi. My wife and I are going to get divorced. (Her decision, I still hoped we could work things out) We have a 10 month old child. What are my rights and responsibilities when it comes to access to my child and paying maintenance? How often should I be allowed to see him? Does it have to be supervised? How often should he be allowed to visit me? How do we determine what a reasonable amount of child maintenance is? Do I have to pay support for my wife? Is she entitled to part of my pension?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you lived together and who has the day to day care of the child at the moment?
What assets and debts are there and what income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


HI. We have been married since August 2008. We got married in south Africa, outside of community of property, with accumulation of assets. As SS have instructed that I am not allowed to live in the same house as my child I have had to move out, so my wife has day-to-day care of our child. This is not due to my choice though. I was not given a say in the matter. We have just our furniture and my wife has the proceeds of the sale of a property she owned before we got married. I have debt on an argos store card (about £1600). My wife currently has no income as she is studying the ACCA exams. I earn £31868 a year.


 


Johan


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Why are Social Services involved?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I have permanent headaches. If, when I broke my leg in 4 place scores 10 for pain, then I usually (on a normal day) have a headache ranging from a 4 - 6. 2 - 3 times a week it goes to 8 or above. Two Saterdays ago I was looking after our child while my wife went shopping. I had an 8. I had to change his nappy and he was screaming his head off. Not good. He was also rolling around and generally making it very difficult to get a new nappy on. Due to the stresses in the house as well as having had an extremely stressful time at work since January, I swore. I didn't swear at him, but I swore while working with him. I also said: "If you keep this up I'll tape your legs to the table." Not the nicest thing to say obviously, but there also no way in which I would actually do that. It was just one of those stupid things you sometimes say but have no intention of doing. The child is 10 months old anyway and wouldn't have understood a word of it. My wife came back just as this was happening and took everything absolutely literally. That was the Saturday evening. On Sunday I went to church and she asked if I wanted to take him with me. That meant me and him being out of the house and away from her for around 3 hours. She didn't come along. Monday came and there was no problem. Tuesday night when I got home they were both not there. I thought she had gone to visit a friend. By 20:00 I started getting worried and tried to get hold of her on the phone. No luck. By 00:00 I reported them missing to the police. The next morning I found out that she had "fled the home" and was in a "place of safety". She then obviously painted the picture just as she wanted the SS to see it and they decided that I am a danger to my child. Hence their involvement. I received no cooperation from anyone that week in trying to speak to them and only received a phone call from them at around 16:55 on Friday afternoon. I was on the phone at the time and only saw I had a call when I had finished, after 17:00. They close at 17:00. So the first anyone in the SS heard my side was on Monday morning, nearly a week after she had "fled the home".


 


I do not believe she really thinks I'm a danger to our child. I think she is simply laying a game in which she totally discredits me, in case I were to apply for custody.


 


Johan


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What action have they taken?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Who? The SS have spoken to me once and have had no further contact with me. Everything else has been through my wife. Initially I was allowed to visit my son (last week) three times a week for one hour under supervision. She apparently saw an solicitor at the Willow Centre yesterday and as a result I can now only see him every other Saturday for two hours at a play centre. I've also had a call from people who arrange maintenance to try to set up a direct debit for that. I have no problem paying maintenance for my child and have asked them to send me all the information so I can take whatever action I need to in order to do that.


 


Apart from this I'm not aware of any further actions that have been taken.


 


Johan


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Did Social Services say directly to you hat you could not be alone with your child?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes. They said unless my wife felt it was appropriate I shouldn't be alone with him and that they would be advising her against it.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Are you both living in rented accommodation?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Yes. I moved out of the rented house (I'm on the tenancy for that) and in to a shared apartment.


 


Johan


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much capital does your wife have - and what income is she living off at present?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She has just over 30000 pounds and is living off of that.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In terms of contact you and your wife are going to have to reach an agreement on contact- possibly using Family Mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.org.uk)
You do face a problem because of the involvement of Social Service so to start with offer to have Contact a couple of hours a week at a local Contact Centre and build up from there.
If your ex will not agree contact then you will have to make an application to the court for a Child Arrangement order so that the Court decides the matter.
So far as Child Maintenance is concerned the rate is 12% of your gross income - and is not negotiable.
Given her large capital resources it is likely that the financial outcome will be an order dismissing all claims you each have against the other
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    133
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKfamsol/My face July 2011.64x64.jpg UKfamsol's Avatar

    UKfamsol

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    240
    Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CH/chathamchamber/2011-4-24_191833_1.64x64.jpg chatham-chamber's Avatar

    chatham-chamber

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    182
    LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)