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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33325
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I moved out of the matrimonial home over a week ago because

Customer Question

I moved out of the matrimonial home over a week ago because my husband told me he couldn't 'do it anymore, he couldn't live with me'. He said if I didn't move out he would go through his solicitor and I wouldn't have a choice. He has sent me solicitors letters before asking me to move out but we made up a few times although some times I did move out to my sisters or parents for two weeks at a time. Then we made up and he asked me to move back. I think he has been acting unreasonably and so do my family. My family don't think I should go back to him and think that if I do I would loose my dignity and self respect. I had only moved back to him for one week when he demanded that I get out again. My solicitor said I would be entitled to 50% of the marital home or 45% if he can prove unreasonable behaviour on my part. He has sent me a solicitors letter telling me I can collect some of my belongings on a certain date and time and that if I want to collect things again it is to be a prior arranged time/date through solicitors (I think he means this in the letter). He paid the mortgage and lived in the house for about 10 years before I married him. He has paid the mortgage off and the house is worth £120,000 at least. I am still working earning £184500 and he is retired on a pension of roughly £2000 a month. If I separated and then divorced from him would I get any money? I paid half of all of the bills apart from the rates, house insurance, new kitchen and mortgage. I am presently living in my sisters house in very poor conditions which is an hours drive away from my work whereas the marital home was only 10 -20 minutes drive away and was very comfortable. I feel very stressed and am suffering from sleepness nights, only able to sleep some nights which is making me very tired and sleepy. I also do nightshifts and nearly fell asleep at the wheel three times on my way back to my sisters. I don't know if I should stay here or get a private rental nearer my work. I am currently get a house examined by a damp and timber specialist and thinking of buying it. I have been approved for a mortgage. I thought it would be better to buy a house than get a private rental if we are not going to get back together again. My solicitor has told me that he could claim off any profit I make from the house if I buy it and we get divorced. Does this mean I would have to sell it or could I just get a loan to pay him off or could this amount be taken off any money I would get as a settlement?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you lived together and are there any children involved?
What other assets and debts are there (how will you finance the new purchase) and what income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi, we have lived together since being married in March 2007. We don't have any children together but my husband has three grown up adult children who don't live in the matrimonial home and never have since we have been together. They all have their own homes and his youngest is married. My husband is on a pension and he gets about £2000 a month before tax etc. I earn £1224 a month approx in my full time permanent job. My husband is paying for a new kitchen which costs him £250 month for the next 1.7 years approx. We both have cars which are over 10 years old so aren't worth much, maybe £500 each. I had savings of almost £10,000 before I married my husband, some of which I have managed to keep throughout the years. I have approx £6300 left in my bank account from my savings. My husband will be paying for one of his sons to do rehab soon which will cost approx £5000 if he completes it.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I earn £18450 a year, I made a mistake earlier and put an extra 0 on the end.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What deposit will you put down on the new property?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

£52,00 at the most. I have asked for a reduction in the price as there is work needing done on the house totalling £4050. I have asked for £2000 reduction form the vendor and I am waiting for her response. If she agrees I will pay £5000 deposit.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do you wish to start divorce proceedings?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have been given a reduction in the price of the house so I am getting it for £50,000 so I am now putting down a deposit of £5,000. No I do not want to start divorce proceedings so it would probably be a separation with divorce in the future. Unless of course my husband started divorce proceedings and then I would have to go with that.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
If it were financially advantageous for you to divorce immediately would you do it - or are you simply not yet ready (which is absolutely fine - there are always other options)
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I'm not ready yet but would it be more financially more advantageous for me to divorce immediately? Also what grounds could I divorce under immediately as I have been told you have to have good reason eg adultery or unreasonable behaviour (that will not be seen as just the usual marriage issues)? Also what other options do I have?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Asking you to leave is Unreasonable Behaviour.
Indeed Unreasonable Behaviour can cover anything that you tolerate in some one you love but which drives you insane in his best friend.
As I am sure you have been told you have an absolute right to return to and live in the matrimonial home and you cannot be forced to leave unless you are violent.
With regard to your interest in the matrimonial home the fact that he owned the house prior to the marriage and you have only been together 7 years AND he paid off the mortgage makes a 50/50 split unlikely
Your behaviour is not likely to massively effect the amount that you receive - but the above matters make a 60/40 split in his favour very realistic
With regard to your new property the value of this may well be taken into account - but only the equity which is likely to be small for the foreseeable future.
The equity will be form part of the calculations and again it is likely to reduce the lump sum you receive - you will not have to sell the property
To force the financial settlement there will have to be a divorce
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My solicitor said that a divorce costs £1500 with her but I may not use her and might use a more prestigious solicitor because my husbands sister is a family law expert and so is her husband. He can get advice off them at any time and his solicitor so I need a really good solicitor behind me. I have heard of divorces costing £20,000 and more so how can my solicitor quote £1500? Would this be the start up fee only and then there would be charges added onto it? Also I cant afford a big price so can the fees be taken off any payment I would receive in the end from him instead? Also how do I go about getting a divorce and how long would it take?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
She is referring to the actual administrative ending of the marriage - and that quote is about right.
It is arguing about money that tends to cost more!
You can do the divorce part yourself if you wish - the details are here
https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce
It takes between five and eight months
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My husband said recently that I wasn't going to get anything. Before that he said he didn't want anything from me. He seems to change his mind frequently. I am getting the keys to my house on 15th August and he wants me to get all of my stuff out of the house. I am worried he will change the locks and then sell some of my belongings or give them away. He might also not let me have them all back even though I have contributed towards furniture etc 50%.


Can that link above be used for Divorce in N.Ireland as that is where I live and am from? If not is there another link I could use?


Can I apply for a divorce then myself and not use a Solicitor? My husband has said he will get his Solicitor to write a letter saying that I am to be properly moved out by 15th but it will be impossible for me to do this so I will need more time. I was in a car crash recently, was in hospital for a week and my car was wrote off. This makes my situation worse as I will have to rely on other people to help me transport items from the house. I have also been advised by Doctors not to drive again until I get another test done in hospital as a day procedure. This may not be until Sept and then I will have to try to get another car. I am really stuck and my husband has offered no help regarding lifts etc.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
You cannot be forced to leave unless you wish to - and if he tries to exclude you then you can get an order allowing you to return
http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/getting-a-divorce-dissolution-of-civil-partnership
You can deal with the paperwork yourself if you wish
Clare

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