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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33293
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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me and my ex separated 2 and half years ago, he wont divorce

Customer Question

me and my ex separated 2 and half years ago, he wont divorce me which i can deal with but he wont let go of the past, if i talk to another man i get 20 questions and verbally he gets quite nasty. he has a go at me in front of our children and i just dont know where to go from here. we have 5 boys aged 6 -age 13 and he keeps saying that if i want to go off and "shag around" he will have the boys.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
For clarity - you no longer live together?
What face to face contact do you have to have?
Did you base your Divorce Petition on his adultery?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes - he ignored it so it was done again based on unreasonable behaviour.


He ignored that too so I was advised to get a court bailiff I think it was


but then the rules changed about legal aid so I've left it and will proceed when I don't need his consent. No I moved out with the boys Jan 2012.


Generally the contact we have is via the boys. He is fine and we can get on as long as he doesn't feel threatened I guess. I have tried so hard to make it easy for the boys and have tried not to have any confrontations with him but it is so hard when he's like this


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The best way to stop this is to complete the Divorce as a way of showing him that you are indeed moving on.
It should not cost more than £90 for an Enquiry Agent to serve him - and if you are on benefits you will be eligible to use the Court Bailiff for free.
It is a relatively simple process to arrange
With regard to the contact I suggest that you offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
If he refuses then simply tell him the pattern of contact that would suit you and the children and that he is welcome to see them at those times - and he may certainly ask at other times but you may well refuse
If he is insulting in front of the children then simply refuse to listen and arrange for someone else to deal with handovers.
If he threatens you the report it to the police
I hope some of this is helpful = please ask if there is an area that you need further details
Clare

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