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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34581
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I seperated from my partner 10 years ago, she already had a

Customer Question

I seperated from my partner 10 years ago, she already had a baby, we went on to have two other children. She since has had another child. I paid maintenance for the three children. I have been in and out of work and not been able to pay full maintenance sometimes recently. However she still demands money off me, anyway things have come to ahead now,and I have decided that I would not pay maintenance for the eldest child who is not mine (she is 18 in August). This has caused major problems now, my ex partner will not answer phones or text messages,and therefore have not been able to speak and see my two children. I have always had my youngest son every weekend since the split. Can you advice me any further actions i can take.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are YOUR children and do you have Parental Responsibility for them?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare.

My children are 18 in August (Not mine), 16, and 12.

No, the two younger ones live with their mother and her new partner. The older one lives with her other grandmother.

Lee.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Has your 16 year old contacted you at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No, as of yet my 16 year old has not contacted me.
Lee.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
When did you last see the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I last saw the children on Sat 23rd June and Sun 24th June. I.e 2 weeks ago.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I last saw the children on Sat 23rd June and Sun 24th June. I.e 2 weeks ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Is your 16 year old still at school?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes, she is Still at School.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The law says that children are entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
You should make an appointment with a Family mediator (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) to try and discuss matters with her - if she refuses or the discussions are not successful you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order setting put the time that you spend with your youngest child.
You cannot make an application with regard ti the 16 year old as at 16 it is entirely up to her what contact she has with you - something you may wish to put in a letter to her
There is of course always facebook as a method of contact
With regard to maintenance you can calculate how much you should pay using the calculations set out here
http://nacsa.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=38:cs3-calculations&catid=2:uncategorised&Itemid=535
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Should I try texting again, about having contact or seeing my youngest son this weekend, before I contact the family mediation helpline?.
And should I mention to ex that I believe we should get help and advice from a family mediator. Should I say this in the text I send her.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
It certainly cannot hurt!
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ok. Thanks.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You are most welcome
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
HI Claire.
I told my ex via text about your last message about maintenance and seeing a mediator to discuss things. As of yet I havent heard back from her.
Anyway I was gonna send her another message tmoro probably, as I previously promises my youngest son to take him to this convention this weekend. So was gonna text my ex again about having my youngest the weekend.
Any ideas best way to tackle this. Shall I just sebd text as I just explained?.
And what if I don't hear back from her, what can you advise?. Lee.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Again there is no harm in trying - but if there is no reply there is no action that can be taken?
Clare
Clare and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Claire.
I text my ex on Friday, about taking my youngest son to a show that I promised to take him to.
And previously I also text her about us seeing a mediator together, and also about the maintenance that I have discovered.
Just to let you know, I have heard nothing still from her. (my ex).
Any guidance on next step to take.
Regards.
Lee.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Set up the meeting with mediation for yourself - then apply to court for an order
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Claire,
Just to let you know, and an update.
My daughter called me last Sunday, asking to meet up at local McDonald's. Which we did, and everything went ok, and I explained things with her. She has told her mum (my ex), that she still wants contact with me.
However during the phone call, my ex got on the phone and said 'By the way we and the kids dont need your money, and your not going to see Liam (my son). Anyway since then I have sent a registered letter asking for my ex to reinstate contact with myself and my kids, I gave her until Friday 23/7 to contact me about this.
If I don't here from her, what do you advise should be my next step?.

Lee


ext step?.


contact with myself and my kids. I also gave her until FriFay
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Set up the meeting with mediation for yourself - then apply to court for an order
Clare