There have been various financial discussions since he left again last August, but no conclusions. He has put in 7 different proposals since August last year but changes it before anything can be developed as he is very impatient. The proposals have varied from various ways of my keeping the house and equestrian facilities to sell forthwith, in quick succession. Now he has offered to reduce his capital demand to 150k as long as I will forgo all pension and income share and give him a clean break. With the house and land as one I am advised this is not viable given the outgoings and my age, so a more detailed look at pensions has been advised re index linking etc. THE FDA required an actuarial report and a new evaluation, both of which I have to pay my share up front, all promoted by his FDA action of 2/14.
There is an outstanding Mortgage Reserve account on the house of £95k. I am jointly liable but did not run this up myself and opposed the spending on it but was overruled. If I get to stay in the house I have to take this on 100% myself and it runs out 1/6/15 and will not be renewable. (Coutts) I have been trying to raise funds to pay it off by planning to sell, Lot 3, part of our 18 acres and have a potential buyer now but I need his permission to change the Land Registration to three lots to do this.
Recent changes 2013/4 in Planning law have then emerged (re change of use and building permission) that mean i could myself potentially build on Lot 2 (the equestrian Lot) and agree to sell the house. This would allow me a better share of his pension and income for life also. My solicitor is not sure I will get permission and there is indeed a risk but for me it is now the optimal solution and whilst I would not agree to sell the house until I had change of use through, I could then take the risk. I could move on.
He has so far not answered this directly and is stalling because he wants me to pay a tax bill 50/50 for 2013/4 on our partnership from the residual joint account, running up the MRA again as there are no funds in the joint account and the MRA fills that automatically. He chose to give me 2k a month on top of my pensions which I am advised by my solicitor is considered enough to meet my needs based on my own Form E return and that though it is not equitable or fair nothing can be done about it therefore, but I am paying all maintenance, repairs, horse and other animals costs etc etc. He has now threatened to take the tax bill out of this amount and I am advised I can take him to court if he does this but I will be right out of funds meanwhile, hence the panic.
His pensions are 42kpa, mine 20k. I no longer earn hardly anything at all, maybe 2-3k pa, he is earning around 4k a month plus expenses accounts and has a full admin team. he lives in a rented Georgian house in Shrewsbury and has managed to get the University of Chester to site an office there also that pays for one floor and his admin team. Shropshire CC have also taken him on at a high level ( he is a professor) and pay him consultancy fees through the university. We have only his own Form E account of this income and have asked for pay 'slips'. He has ignored this so far.
I had a market appraisal done last October as one lot and as three. The One lot was considered to be around 740-760k. The three: Lot 1 the house plus garden, 540k; Lot 2: Equestrian plus a few acres: 120k; Lot 3: 10.95 acres of pasture 79k. To provide access to LOt 3 I will need to take about an acre off Lot 2 which would then also provide a potential building plot for the buyer if planning comes through.
Car: When he left he bought everything new including his car. At that time we were in an amicable enough state and 'cars' came off the joint account, pushing up the MRA. I was slow to catch on to the potential implications of this. He had 6k for the deposit from the joint account (into which at that time our income and pensions were supposedly all going). Thereafter he had 450 per month for the payments. He hit something and had a total respray and had just taken on another floor in his house and insisted on having payments for furnishings etc, so another 5,9k there we he recycled as 'income' into the joint account claiming heroics...
I have an old honda Jazz which cost 4k and was also paid from the joint account when he left as he took my car to leave me with the very ancient 4x4 to pull the horse trailer. Together with the horse trailer they are worth around 4-5k now an very ancient. I have also become very much more disabled and need an electric wheelchair soon (I am a disabled rider). The horses and landscape keep me sane more or less. I have no children and have lost his family and my family life and he has quickly employed my nephew's wife who had been working for me on admin until he left, so i have now also lost my nearest relatives.
I am lucky to have been able to barter daily help to enable me to carry on using the equestrian facilities. I pay weekly maintenance of 100 for heavy land work plus cleaning of 30, then six weekly farrier 253, vets of around 150 (ancient beasts), all feeds and twice a year field maintenance.
Logic is to sell the house but then I will lose the rest of my life, both horses, landscape and the daily team I have coming in who have become my family. I have been on and off severely depressed and decided that I could not cope with any more loss as i have lost my life ands family as i knew it already. The new possibility of dividing and building has opened up a good compromise a but I think he will oppose it to avoid the pension share and income share.
If I accepted the house and MRA with no pensions or income share, I am advised i could not survive financially though I could then divide the land myself but still not meet the MRA deadline next year which would unfairly ave become my total liability.
The severance and FDA and the complexity with his frequent changes have pushed up my legal fees and kept me on the back foot but I do not think my bills have been fairly presented or explained or itemised. I owe nothing at present but have to pay up front for any reports now and have a bill of 6k forthcoming for the barrister and pre court conference which produced a sharp financial appraisal re the pension issues but the court was called off. he has paid legal fees of 5k in total knowing he never intended to go to court with the FDA, only to pressure me. Until February this year legal fees also came from the joint account but then that was frozen so I pay all my own now. I have about 5k remaining on my credit card and am unable to pay it therefore with the report fees also.
My legal fees have been presented with no itemisation, not showing any payments from myself at all, even though I have regularly paid them off as i could, yet show a string of months of fees as lump sums outstanding Jan to June. I complained to the accounts man who said they had done it like that for the last 20 years so I said it was time for a change and I had never seen a professional account presented in that one-sided non transparent manner. After the second complaint, as there was no change the first time, it is now being put right but I want a full list of start to finish items and fees and payments to be able to see what on earth had been going on.
MY fees have been very high indeed for the two items: the Severance/Will/LPA work plus the matrimonial work with barrister for the FDA but I am now told to approach Coutts for a bank loan which they will not give. We have no other property, stocks or shares only the house and land. I only have my pension and his 2k a month which he is now threatening to cut to pay the tax bill, though i know we can take him to court if he does so, it is just more and more.
Thank you for responding to my query. it has been very helpful indeed to have a second opinion possibility.
I am a psychotherapist by profession with a Masters degree in literature as well, but have been emotionally overwhelmed by this totally unexpected late life trauma, following closely on my two unexpected coronaries. I never thought my husband would routinely deceive me in the way he has done. He is a brilliant politician, a financial wheeler dealer (eg the academic dept in his own home!) and chess and bridge player who sees life as a series of games that he must always win. I never play that kind of game, dislike them, and am therefore always routed. In the past I have given way every time for an easier ride but feel it must stop here.
The legal bills and financial crisis have been the final straw. I am not a 'rich' person. I just share this lovely property with him and hoped to be here for the rest of my life.
Thank you for listening.