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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33276
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My daughter of 12 has lived with her mother up till recently.

Customer Question

My daughter of 12 has lived with her mother up till recently. My daughter has now decided she wants to live with me, She is adamant that she does not want to return. On several occasions she has walked out of her mothers home and come to mine. Her mother is not willing to talk about our daughter and the reasons she wants to leave. I have talked at length with my daughter and I believe she had not made this decision lightly. She has been with me now for a short while. I have continued to pay maintenance through CSA and am now considering stopping this. Please can you advise what action to take, as you can imagine a year old does not come cheaply ....

Simon
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long has she been with you and what action has your ex taken about this?
Are there any court orders in place?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


She has been with me for two weeks. Over the past several months, however, she has walked out on her mother on numerous occasions and come to me. I have taken her back , usually the next, day albeit my daughter did not want to go, but her mother insisted. I can not keep putting my daughter through this so this time I have let her stay. Her mother does not like it but no action has been taken by her. When my daughter was one my ex partner did a moon night flit to Kent with her new partner with out consulting me first. I did apply for custody but as my daughter had been in Kent for some months custody was awarded to my ex. I travelled to kent every 4 weeks with the help from my family to see my daughter . this went on for approx. one year until my ex returned to where I live , after her relationship ended. At this point she had another child. I do have parental responsibility.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Have you notified school; doctors, dentist etc of the change of residence?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I have not informed any of the above , but have intentions to speak to her school today and inform them of the changes.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What contact is your daughter having with her mother?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


She has not seen her mother since she came to me, however they will be seeing each other on Sunday as I think it is important that she has some kind of contact. My daughter has know intentions of moving back to her mothers.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
is your ex likely to try and fight you for this?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


As she is on benefit I would say it is highly likely she will as this would affect what money she receives.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In that case you ave two possible ways forward.
The first is the more informal way - notifying school doctors etc of the move and applying to have the Child benefit transferred into your name.
Once that has happened you can stop paying the CSA.
The more formal way is to discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation - chose a mediator also trained to work with young people so your daughter's views can be heard.
If mediation fails or is refused then you apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order
Given your daughter's age and the strong record of contact her wishes should be respected and the Order made accordingly
You can read more here
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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