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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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my daughter went to see her dad at the contact centre today

Resolved Question:

my daughter went to see her dad at the contact centre today and apparently yesterday she had a fall so her dad tool a picture of her leg. 2 weeks ago she had a scratch and he took a photo of that and sent social services to my house. I was cleared and to be honest the bruise on her leg is minor but this is stressing me as now to cover myself I will need to take her doctors and also tel her nursery of the leg fall so they can have a record it was minor. he has also sent a message with my daughter stating if I can allow her to go on holiday with him. she is only 4 and I feel it is unfair he is putting her on the spot and raising her hopes. the contact is every week due to this can I reduce it once a month??? also shall I just ring social services and let them now what is happening???

I am under marac and also due to him threatening to kill me on the 16 may I am relocating to Leicester but wil be staying in a womens refuge so he cant finde me

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
If the bruise is minor then mention it to nursery but there is no need for a GP visit
If he reports it to Social Services so be it - they will again find nothing amiss and his repeated false accusations will count against him not you
Speak to the Contact Centre Co -Ordinator or you solicitor about the inappropriate conversations regarding holidays.
this is not a reason for dropping to once a month I am afraid
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I forgot to mention he also told my daughter to tell me to call him. I mean I am worried about my daughters mental welfare because I feel he is manipulating her and just trying to find something on me. also it is distressing at home as I am just concentrating on my daughter that she don't get hurt and my other 2 children feel resentment. surely contact with her father needs to be maintained but at the sme time should my wellbeing not be considered. I am of stress leave as cant cope with him interrogating my daughter. would this not be enough to reduce it to once a month???

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
The problem is that this behaviour from your ex is not unusual at all
The way forward is to try and stop letting him dictate how you act.
If you have not already done the freedom programme then ask for help in finding a local one.
You are a good mum and do not need to treat your daughter differently - or worry about him quizzing her - Create a contact book and note any injuries she has suffered in the week and send it in with her.
If he writes back nonsense then you will have evidence of his behaviour if he tries to move contact out of the centre
It could also provide evidence that fortnightly contact would be more realistic and allow you time at the weekends with all three chidlren
Clare
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