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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33290
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My ex partner has a contact order for our 8 year old daughter

Customer Question

My ex partner has a contact order for our 8 year old daughter . He is a bully & a controlling man , I sought help from women's aid following me leaving the relationship .
My daughter has consistently said she does not want to go to daddy's she is frightened of him she says he says horrid things about me which she says "I know what he wants me to do mummy he wants me to hate you . 2 weeks a go she Facetimed her sister at university crying hysterically saying she could not stand it any longer . I have downloaded the C100 form , but it says I have to go for mediation , I am unable to mediate with my ex partner he is abusive is man whose motivation is to control & win.( no convictions) It is about my daughter having her wishes & feeling heardSnot me or him .She is due to go to daddy's tomorrow night , she is adamant she is not going She says she will hide or run away from school if she is made to go .
I want protect my child & have her wishes heard what is my best way forward . I am ver anxious about her well being
I have asked to swap a weekend
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When was the Order made?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
December 2012
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has he physically hurt her in any way?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No but he physically assaulted my elder daughter who is now 20 (no conviction)
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Was a CAFCASS report prepared in 2012?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes at the time of going to court 2011 Harriet was 5 she expressed to Cafcass she wanted to see daddy . During the court proceedings my ex's current partner phoned Cafcass & said she was bring absused that Harriet & her half sister Ellie were frightened of him& he was drinking & driving with the girls in the car . This then triggered a section 47 investigation. Which highlighted my ex as a serial a abuser of women,that he lacked empathy eighths children . The sw report recommended that residency was Put in my name & contact miinimised. However the judge gave alternate weekends alternate Tuesdays and almost half school hols .
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Did you consider an appeal?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No, I did not have legal advice so I was unaware I could appeal , . The 18 month process left me emotionally drained
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
It must have been very hard to cope with.
is the school aware of your daughters distress?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I have informed the school . My daughter is bright & well balanced . She is achieving & above average . There is no signs of distress . The school have an issue with my ex he is currently taking the school to court because he is unhappy with her school report from last year . The school which is very small 70 kids have to manage him
He is a vexatious litigant , & complainant . There were multiple applicants to court over his older daughter .
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So she has not mentioned anything at school?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
That is a potential problem as it would be helpful if you had independent evidence of the extent of your daughter's feelings on the issue
You have said that you cannot go to mediation - but in fact all you have to do is attend a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting.
Given all that you say it is unlikely that mediation will be appropriate - although shuttle mediation could work - but if it can be managed with a Mediator trained to work with young people you will have the clear evidence of her wishes that will assist you.
This would be the most effective way forward for you - I appreciate that mediation even if it starts may break down - but the court will approve the fact that you tried
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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