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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34121
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi we would like some information on how I stand with my son

Customer Question

Hi we would like some information on how I stand with my son as I am his mother on having full custody. What rights does the father have, he does pay maintenance and is threatening to try and get full custody?. Thanks Sophie
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and what contact does the father currently have?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My son is 2 my ex partner has over 2 days 9 hrs in total which he has chosen. Thanks sophie

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi claire just wondering on the information i have required .. is there any news many thanks sophie

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
My apologies for the delay
What further contact has he asked for - and why is he threatening to take your child away from you?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He constantly let's me down on child care and always changing the days. Which causes me a dilemma with work, I need consistency and have to rely on my family for the child care. And seems to get annoyed when other arrangements have been made. And starts accusing me of denying him access. Also he wants our son to stay over at his house but my son will be in the same bedroom as him and his girlfriend can he do this as l am not happy with this situation this is one of the reason why he wants to get full custody. And can he succeed with it . Can you tell me what are his legal rights as a father .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What is the actual pattern of contact he is meant to have?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He had set hours but because of his work he changes them .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Does he work shifts?
What contact would you like to offer?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He works straight shifts which at 2.30 til close. And splits shifts which at 9.30am til 2.30 then 6 pm til close. Do I have to let my son stay the night because I am not happy that he is in the same bedroom as them, and they don't have a spare room for him as they have a lodger . I'm not stopping from seeing his son but he seems to call all the shots of when he wants to see him . I'm offering 2 days a week x

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
How long in advance is his shift pattern set and what time is "close"
What days does he have off?
Has your child spent nights away from you in the past?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Some time it can change a day before he's meant to have him and he has Monday and Tuesday off which on Monday he has him 12 til 5 while I work then goes to his family's till Tuesday night.. my son has been away from me one night a week to my mums while I work

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Sorry - you mean that he has him on Mondays and Tuesdays and he wants to have him overnight.
How long has he been with his partner?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He only has him on a monday and saturday at this very moment .. He did ask him to have him over night but that was last year .. he's been with his partner since I think November 13

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
HI
May I just check - he is named on the Birth Certificate?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes he is

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Your ex has Parental Responsibility for the child just as you do - so he has the same rights and responsibilities as you do.
The law says that a child is entitled to regular contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary
You and your ex are expected to agree Contact arrangements - using Family Mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) if necessary.
There is no risk of the child being removed from your care
It is entirely reasonable for you to set a pattern of contact which has to be kept to - and that he cannot simply expect to see the child when it is convenient for him to do so.
Overnight contact should be considered - but only once the relationship with his partner has been established a little longer.
The fact that he would have a bed in their room is not enough to prevent it I am afraid
You can find out more here
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

How long does his relationship need to go on for .. For me to let him stay over night plus his girlfriend has moved in to the house so she is there 24/7

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Once the regular contact has been established again then give it another three months so that your child is accustomed to the new partner before overnight contact starts
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Ok that's fine but is there any court order I can have against him so that he can't speak to me at all unless it's about my son

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You simply tell him that you only wish to speak to him when it involves your child.
Keep a SIM card for his calls and only turn the phone on when you are willing to hear from him.
If he continues to pester you then report it to the police
Clare

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