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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33316
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello! My ex husband had just taken the children away on holiday

Customer Question

Hello!
My ex husband had just taken the children away on holiday abroad. I gave my consent with certain conditions in place which concerned the welfare of the children and also contact with me while they were away. He agreed to all the conditions by email but during the holiday did not stick to the conditions. Do I have any legal come back or do I just accept that he can do what he want no matter what I say?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what conditions has he breached?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The girls are aged 8 and 10. The following conditions he agreed to and I have commented what actually happened.


1) The holiday is at the Mark Warner resort in Sardinia
2) Imogen & Emily are in an interconnecting room to yours.
These conditions were because he kept telling me different holiday destinations and different sleeping arrangements
3) The 12 year old boy is not in the same room as the girls, nor is present when they are bathing nor getting dressed/undressed.
4) The 12 year old boy will not be left in charge of the girls at all during the holiday either in the room, resort or at any point.
These two conditions refer to his girlfriends son who went on holiday with them. The first conversation about the holiday was that the 12 year old boy would be in a room with the girls.
5) Imogen & Emily will not be left in their room or your room without you looking after them. This includes the evenings leaving them in the room whilst you go and have a drink/meal elsewhere.
6) Your girlfriend will not be left solely in charge of the girls. This is your holiday with them and you should be with them at all times. The only time this will be acceptable is if the girls will need to be dropped off at different places at the same time. However, your girlfriend dropping both girls off at times when you are elsewhere is not acceptable.
This was breached as he went to a fitness class while she looked after the youngest. This holiday was supposed to be quality time with his girls.
7) The main entry door to the girls room should be blocked from the inside (not just the lock but physically something put in front of it ) at night time.
8) If there is a balcony on the girls room (you haven't specified if this is the case) the doors should remain shut at all times especially at night. This condition and condition 7) are due to both girls frequently being up in the night.

9) The girls will only drink bottled water, no tap water. Other non alcoholic drinks in moderation are of course fine - it is their holiday.
10) The girls will only stay up late (post 9pm) every other night on average to ensure they are not too tired.
I don't think this happened but no way to prove it as the girls had no idea what time they went to bed. They were exhausted when they came back.
11) On the plane the girls will both be sat next to you - one either side. They will not be sat on their own nor in a row with the 12 year old boy, nor your girlfriend. You are the responsible adult for them and you need to be next to both of them on the flight both outwards and the return journey.
12) The girls should be kept out of the sun from 12-3pm on the first 3 days as they will not be used to the heat at this point.
This wasn't adhered to.
13) Emily must not eat pasta every day for lunch and dinner as this upsets her tummy.
This wasn't adhered to.
14) The girls touches must be connected to the Wi-Fi within 5 hours of landing. According to the Mark Warner website there is wifi/internet at the hotel so this shouldn't be an issue.
This never happened. There was wi-fi in reception but he didn't set them up on this.
15) The girls must be allowed to message me whenever they would like to but in particular morning (7-9am UK time) and evening (5-8pm UK time). Obviously this is the girls choice but they should have the ability to message if they desire - this should not be restricted.
I sent them texts via his phone. He didn't show them to the girls. I had one morning phone call from them and about 3 texts during the week.
16) The girls should be allowed to facetime me once a day at an agreed time (6.00pm UK time). If the activities during the day mean that 6pm UK time is not convenient then a new time should be arranged in the morning of that day. Facetime should happen once a day.
This was just a phonecall as they walked from their room to dinner. He kept hurrying them up as well.
17) A text should be sent by you at the following times : arrival at the airport (if I am not dropping them off), boarding the plane, landing, arrival at the hotel, leaving the hotel for departure, arrival at the airport, boarding the plane, landing.
I had to chase a couple of the texts but all in all he did this.
18) The girls should be accompanied at all times to the toilet where you cannot see the entrance to the toilet and should not be allowed to wander around where the area is deemed unsafe. They are still quite young - especially Emily.
No idea about this one.
19) There should not be any smoking (of any kind - e-cigarette, cigarettes, ...) in front of the girls - this includes within the car, coach or other means of transport, room both yours, theirs and on the balconies.

His girlfriend smoked in front of the girls on the balcony of the room.

Thanks

Lucy
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
i am sorry but I do have to be honest - the Court would view most of the above list as being entirely unreasonable on your part.
The only ones a court would be likely to have seen as reasonable requests are 1,2,4,5,15 and 17.
For the rest the simple fact is that he is their father and he is responsible for their welfare whilst they are with him and it is for him to assess what is and is not acceptable in the circumstances
I am afraid that there is no legal comeback on any breaches - other than to refuse further holidays - however unless the breaches relate to one of those I have listed above there is no point in taking even that further
When you return to mediation however it could be good to have those written in the Parenting plan
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are welcome _ wish I could have given you better news
Clare

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