I had my mediation session yesterday and essentially my ex-husband wants to change the following:
> Sunday drop off back to me from 3pm to 6pm or 7pm.
His reason : so that he can do things with his new girlfriend that might not finish until 4-5pm or he can go away for the weekend
My reason not to : the girls need to calm down, have some Mummy time, finish any homework, get ready for school, pack their school bags, get ready for the week, music practice, bath, hair wash, nails, ears. About once every 3 or 4 of his weekends they also have choir that starts at 4.30pm until 7.30pm. If they don't have choir I like to get them in bed for 7pm on a Sunday as Sunday and Monday are the only nights they can go to bed early.
> He wants the half terms to be different. He wants them in Feb so he can take them skiing (he has never been in his life so I suspect he wants to go skiing for the week and because he has the kids for 2.5 days he will have to take them with him. My response is that the girls like having us equally across the holidays - 2.5 days each. Plus now the girls are older they are going to want to do different things in the holidays with their friends.
> currently the holidays are 50:50 but he couldn't manage all the holidays in the summer so several of the days that he was due to have them other people looked after them - including my parents. If he isn't going to have the girls to them look after them himself - why can't I have them?
> Communication with the girls when he has them
He wants to limit me to have one phone call on a Saturday at 6pm only. I drop the girls Friday morning at school and then get them back on Sunday. The girls have their I-touches so can easily message as long as there is wi-fi. I like to speak to them morning and night but he says that's too much. I suggested : Friday - I-touch messages, Sat am - I- touch messages or text via his phone if there isn't any wi-fi, Sat pm facetime (he won't commit to this only a phone call); Sun am I-touch or text if there isn't any wi-fi.
Any advice would be great. In the end he started quoting texts and phone conversations that I had had with the girls and it all got emotional so I walked out after 2 hours.
My view is that the girls have had enough of all the upheaval at the moment and changing all the routines again will be detrimental to their welfare. I have said that I would not like to change anything until July next year when things will have to change anyway as my eldest will start secondary school in September so we lose a lot of the after school and holiday care for her as she will be too old.
where do I go from here?
Thanks. I don't place any rules on when he can communicate with the girls when they are with me. He can phone/facetime/message whenever he wants to. He chooses not too and the girls don't always want to talk to him. I can't see that what I am asking for : Friday evening - quick text, Sat am - quick text, Sat pm facetime and sun am quick text is too much??