She receives DLA, middle rate care and low mobility, ESA and has a personal budget which covers 1 day at her work placement, two days at Evolve which teaches her independent skills and one night per week in a supervised house. I still have to pay for meals and extra curricular activities at the house and these are not covered in her personal budget.
Because she has turned 20, I have lost her child benefit and her child tax credits.
My ex husband stopped paying at the beginning of the month but for the last few months has been changing the amount he pays as it suits him.
At the moment I am receiving £125 per month for the maintenance of our youngest daughter who is 17 and yet he still sends £100 a month to our eldest, who is 22 and working in a well paid job away from home. He has only stopped paying for Helen and it is definitely because she has Down's and he has heard from a friend of a friend of someone he knows that she is entitled to thousands in benefits. As always with him, if he hears something like this he takes it as truth because he has always resented paying maintenance to the girls as he feels it benefits me rather than the children.
When we first split up 16 years ago, he had to pay a reasonable amount of maintenance because I was in receipt of income support, but I would get abusive phone calls from him saying I was ripping him off etc. and so, mostly for a more peaceful life, I told him that we could come to an amicable payment once I stopped receiving income support. I have been working since 2001 and he only payed around £300 per month. We agreed he would raise it every year in line with inflation, but that never happened. He believes he is being very generous and that I use emotional blackmail to get money from him.
I am scared and intimidated by him even after all these years as he was an emotional bully throughout our marriage as well as physically violent from time to time. I would rather not have anything to do with him, but feels he has a responsibility to provide financial support towards his daughter, especially as she will never be able to be totally independent and will always need support.