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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My partner (the childs mother) constantly asks her ex (childs

Resolved Question:

My partner (the childs mother) constantly asks her ex (childs father for information as to when he will be seeing his son (collection and return times etc) he will not reply or answer these requests. The fathers parents (grandparents)have informed my partner they (and the father) will be taking the child on holiday for a few day this weekend. Again my partner has attempted on several occasion this am to find out where, when,how long for and collection and return times as to be able to provide suitable clothing etc. Having noted he has been "on-line" to others this am he STILL refuses to reply. We provided a detailed calender for him covering the whole of July & August indicating where and when we would be taking the child on holiday and asking the father to insert the days he would be wishing to see his son or take him in holiday. It was returned blank apart from the dates supplied by ourselves Where do we stand legally with this difficult situation as this is ongoing and makes planning for ourselves almost impossible.

An urgent reply would be appreciated

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and is there actually any set pattern of contact?
Please confirm there are no court orders in place
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Clare

The child is seven (7) rears old. The contact is every Wednesday after school 4.00pm to 7.00pm with grandparents, Sunday 10.00 am to 7.00pm with his father. Child and ourselves often kept waiting for father to collect him on Sundays, father seldom adheres to agreed times for return on Wednesdays or Sundays making it almost impossible to make any arrangements for ourselves.

Father has made no attempt to see the child on any additional occasion throughout the school 6 week holiday period, expecting ourselves to look after the child and take time off work to do so. We have taken the child on three separate vacations, the father has made no attempt to take the child anywhere.

There are no court orders in place.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How often has the child been returned late in the last three months and by how long
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Sorry cannot really recall that information, perhaps we should have kept a record.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Best guess - anecdotal is fine - how often and by how long?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

6-7 times anything up to 11/2 hrs.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you
Is your partner happy for the child to go on the trip with his grandparents
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes. The issue is with the father not either set of grandparents. He makes no attempt to reply to any communication from my partner regarding holidays days out etc. He has constantly told the child he is taking him on holiday but refuses to reply to requests for information.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Can your partner negotiate directly with her ex's parents regarding the time spent with them?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In that case her first step shoudl be to ask them that any plans they have to take the child away are made with her and not via their son - and there is no reason why she should not ask them at the start of the holidays when they would like to have him so that you can factor in their plans with your own.
With regard to his father she should offer to discuss regular and holiday contact with him using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk).
If (when he refuses) she should write and say that in future be on the already days already agreed.
If the child is not collected within the first hour then it will be assumed that contact is not taking place that day.
Tell him that he can have an extra two days at half terms and and the Christmas and Easter holidays and a week in the Summer holidays - with the dates to be agreed at least a month before the holiday - and in the absence of any notification it will be assumed that he does not wish to have the extra time.
With regard to the late returns I suggest that you say that contact should end at 6pm so that the child is in bed in good time - but in your mind still say 7pm - as that is when he is likely to return the child.
You then stick to the rules laid down - if her ex doesn't like it he can start the mediation process himself!
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33953
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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