Thank you for your email.
My children from my first marriage who all live with me their ages are as follows:-
Eldest daughter just turned 18 this month and in 3 weeks time will be going to University in South Wales. I will need to financially support her.
Eldest son is 16 and severley autistic with learning difficulties he attends special school and uses a wheelchair, he will be continuing with his education until he is 19. I am his sole main carer.
My second son has just turned 13 in July this year and goes to school.
My youngest daughter turned 11 in January this year and goes to school.
My wife has 2 children her first child is 6 from her first marriage and the second son is our son who is 2 years old.
so in total 6 kids and my wife lived in the 3 bedroom house.
April this year my wife got her indefinite leave to remain in UK and 6 weeks later on 25th May my wife made her statement that she has no wish to live with my children and wants to live by herself as she is entitled to various benefits. We have lived separately every day my wife would spend all day at her friends house she moved all legal documents to her friends house and packed up her items and put them in boxes and bags she took all photos of the walls and took out the wedding photos and emptied all frames. My wife took of the curtains and put them in her boxes telling me that when she finds accommodation she will be moving all of her items. My wife then said she was going to go to Russia with her 2 boys forced me to write a letter to russian embassy saying that i give my free will to allow our son to go to Russia. The verbal abuse during the past 18 months from her was getting worse and the 6 weeks prior to leaving every night. The abuse was such that she also abused especially my 3 children and make them do so many household chores including getting my youngest son to bath his older brother on a daily basis. My 3 youngest children were not allowed into the tv and dinning rooms for the past 2 years. My eldest sons mental health deteriorated so fast in the past 20 months he now does not eat unless i feed him he his now in a wheelchair.
My wife to this date has not apologised there has been a series of emails recently and she said everything i say is a complete lie. i have enough independant evidence.
i Married my wife in Cyprus on 5 September 2011, I paid my wifes mortgage and credit cards in December 2011. My wife then transfered legal ownership of her russian apartment to her mother in December 2011. My wife came to uk in February 2012 our son was born in April 2012. My wife got her indefinte leave to remain in April 2014 and on 25 May 2014 decided to leave me.
I purchased my house in November 1998. I have paid of all of my mortgage 8 years ago (2006) the house is valued at say about £230,000. The house is under my sole name.
I paid all of my wedding costs borrowing money from my dad.
I financially supported my wife and all 6 children.
I work full time and have worked full time since March 1989 and prior to meeting my wife had been a single working parent for 9 years.
I live in a 3 bedroom house. My in laws would come on my wife's request without any consultation from me on numerous occassions and would stay for months at various times there were 10 people living in the house.
My wife's ex husband came a number of times to see his ex wife (my wife) and their son and how he got my address i don't know.
My wife insisted on the most expensive items and over our short period of marriage i have spent about £30,000 approx on her. I am in great debt my credit history during the period of marriage has suffered so much no body would lend me any money. i had debt agencies knocking on my doors. I never had financial problems before in my life. My wife wants and she would make sure she gets.
My wife never worked in paid employment in the UK and she set up her beauty business on 28 May 2014 this year.
The 6 weeks before my wife left to go to Russia, her daily routine was that she would leave the house at 08:00 every morning drop her son of to school (my youngest daughter who attended same school had to walk there). This was upseting i had bought my wife her car by borrowing money from my dad. My wife would spend all day at her male friends house with my son and come home at between 20:00 and 22:00 hours, shower her 2 boys and have a shower herself have a daily argument with me and go to sleep. This was a daily event from 25 May until 5 July when she went to Russia with her 2 boys.
My wife with the support of her friends looked for rented accomodation and then realised as she does not have regular paid income it would be difficult and asked me on number of occassions to be a guarantor of her accomodation. i explained that she knows of my financial position i have no savings and credit history is very bad. I cannot give what i don't have.
My wife suggested that i moved to my dads house with my children so she can stay in my house with her 2 boys. I said no because this has been our house my children youngest 2 were born here. Also why should i move out of my house which i had lived since November 1998, my wife has only lived in this house for 2 years. my eldest son is severely autistic and his whole routine would change causing him further mental deterioration of health.
Since 25 May i slept downstairs on the couch and my wife slept with her 2 boys in our bedroom, my wife took my son out of his cot and put him in our bed i was told that there was no space for me.
Since my wife's departure atmosphere in the house has changed all kids can sit in tv and dinning rooms when they want. My dad comes to visit us as he was banned by my wife to visit on daily basis which he had done for the past 10 years to support me when i was a single parent.
the social workers come once a week they also note the improvement in the atmosphere in the house. The house is a happy household. My children do not want there step mother back.. I emailed my wife several times to get dialogue in sorting out our differences she has not engaged and i advised that i have changed the door locks and i will not be opening the door. I pointed out my wife has had 3 months to find suitable acommodation which was her wish and i will send all of her items which she has packed in boxes and bags to her new acommodation.
My wife has not indicated any compromise. My children and myself are all sick at the thought that she will come back and continue daily arguments with all of us. It is my house and i changed my door locks giving my wife prior knowledge by several emails before she departs Russia. i have advised her that she should find alternative accomodation prior to comming back to UK even if that means she can stay at her friends house. After she has sorted out her accomodation we can then discuss suitable arrangements for our son. I am happy to financially support my son as best as i can.
I also have one buy to let property which has a mortgage and my ex wife who is a paranoid schizphonia lives there. Value of property probably £90,000 with a mortgage of £75,000. I had purchased this property i think in July 2011.
Also in July 2011 my dad put my name on his property as joint tennat in case he died to avoid inheritance tax which i think only takes effect after 7 years. My dads' property is valued at £300,000.
As you can see from above i got married in September 2011 my wife separated from me on 25 May 2014, i spent so much money on her including wedding costs, paid her credit cards and her £10,000 mortgage on her apartment, all visa applications for her and my step son. i purchased a BMW car for her paid all road tax and Car insurance as one lump sum payment of £900. The value of properties has gone down since september 2011. I am in Debt of about say £21,000. I have no savings and no one would lend me any money.
Do the courts look at the length of the marriage? Do the courts look at what Assets we both acquired during our marriage? Do the courts look at the wealth accured from the assets during the marriage. Do the courts also look at my financial support to my wife. I am the sole person who paid for my entire wedding in Cyprus, paid for my wife's wedding dress and all costs for flight and our 2 week honey moon in Cyprus. In return after accuring so much debt so that my wife can get her indefinite leave to remain in UK, she has made her position clear.
I don't know if it helps but the first time i met my wife's ex husband he told me that his ex wife (my wife) had taken his son out of Russia without his permission but he managed to trace his son. My wife said to me that she transfered her apartment to her mothers name during our marriage in december 2011 to her mum because she was not going back to russia until her son turned 18 as she expected problems with her ex husband. Now they are best of friends and my wife did say that she separated from her ex husband because he had an affair with another woman who he later married. to be honest i dont know what to believe, my problem is i take on face value what people say and judge them on my standards. I now realise everybody have different standards.
My wife says she knows all her rights, before marriage she stated that she would never take anything from me which was mine as she was not that type of woman. Now she tells me that she is only going to claim what the english legal system would allow her to claim and that it is not her wish but what she is required by law she can claim.
The thought of going through another divorce does not appeal to me. I offered mediation service and she has refused.
I understand that she will be comming back to UK today. My wife sent me a email a couple of days ago and said that everything i say is a lie, she will be comming back and that if i have anything to say to her i should say to her face. My wife has also said that she expects to get 2 set of keys to the house when she returns.
I have spoken to the Police they said that they do not get involved.
I understand that i will not be getting any legal aid..I dont think my wife will get legal aid.
I have never claimed any money for my step son. I have never claimed any child benefit for my step son.
I have claimed child benefit for my youngest son and child tax credits..
Can you please advise as to what my options are. Just writing this email is very upsetting. I have decided not to open my door today to my ex wife if she comes and therefore not get involved in any arguments especially as it would be very upsetting for all kids.
I look forward to your reply...